


A Return to Scotland

by theglamourfades



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Romantic Fluff, Scotland, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 21:02:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theglamourfades/pseuds/theglamourfades
Summary: A few years after they first went, Anna, John and their daughter venture to Scotland again for a holiday of their own. Will it be a trip to remember? AU post S3.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written before the start of S4, way back in the mists of time...

The September evening was still and pleasantly warm, giving the impression of all being at perfect peace. Soft chirping could be heard on the breeze that floated through the window and as she looked out, Anna's gaze was caught by two little birds perched on the tree that hung over into the garden from the adjoining cottage. A smile drifted onto her face as she watched them for a while, entranced. One was bobbing its head, seemingly in time to the tune of the other. The sound lulled her into a moment of calm towards the end of another busy day, making thoughts of what she still had to do drift away.

She shook herself before very long, though the cottage was just as serene. Turning back into the sitting room, she surveyed it with a sense of modest pride. She was glad that she had been able to find the time to give the room a decent tidy today on top of the other chores. It was the little touches that made all the difference, and she smiled at the cushions that were displayed on the small settee, picking one up and dropping it with a soft thud onto the floor to give it a final plump. It might not have had the same grandeur as the residence not too far along the road but to her, it was a palace. Adjusting the cushion back in its rightful place, she rested her hands on her hips and admired the space that was nearly spotless. She knew it never would quite be, but that was perfectly fine considering the reason why.

As the day had stayed so nice, Anna had thought about taking the pile of sewing that awaited her into the garden to finish off, thinking it would be rather nice to get some evening sun onto her face. As it turned out, her daughter wasn't interested in going out of doors, preferring to sit inside and play quietly, making up games with the teddies that surrounded her on the rug.

Sitting at the corner table, she kept a watchful eye on Eleanor, blonde hair curled up around her face. She seemed deep in her own little world, as was often the case, babbling softly and happily away to her favourite teddy, cradling it very carefully in her tiny hands. Anna's heart burst with love. She may have looked like her, but her gentle and thoughtful nature was the same as her father's. Anna simply adored watching her grow day by day, rejoicing as she picked up more of John's mannerisms. Right at this moment Eleanor was flailing her arms around in the air, caught in the flow of a very interesting conversation. Anna didn't stifle a giggle at the sight, her hands working beneath her like second nature.

She smiled once more seeing the fabric that she held in her grasp. Not that long ago she handled an endless line of blouses and dresses, delicate silks and laces. Now she had swapped them for sturdy workwear, suit jackets and trousers. It was amazing that a skill she had practised for the best part of her life took on such a thrilling new meaning now. She tended carefully to the tear at the shoulder of John's jacket, proud to do the work of a wife and falling into a dream, thinking of how well he wore it.

Pleasant thoughts mingled with more unsettling ones in her head; she thought she had managed to keep them at bay, but as the hour got later it seemed impossible to ignore them. She had not looked forward to this month edging on closer and a sickly feeling rose within her as she supposed they would know one way or another soon enough, even possibly before the day was out. Her fingers floundered in her lap and she let out a yelp as one was sharply jabbed by the point of the needle.

A pair of large, blue eyes were on her at the sound, a little face held still in shock. Anna smiled softly and soothingly at her daughter.

"It's okay, my sweetheart. Mummy was just being very silly and not thinking about what she was doing."

Eleanor was placated by her mother's voice, shaking her curls as she went back to her amusement. Anna folded up the jacket and walked across the floor, held in rapture by her young daughter. It was hard to believe that she was already a year and a half old; it seemed like only yesterday that she had told John in a fit of excitement and joy the news that she was pregnant, forever remembering the way his face had formed into such a wonderful smile. It was the same smile that their daughter wore now, as happy as anything, not in the least troubled by what the world could hold. She watched as her small hands pulled at her frilled white socks, considering the garments in her hands for a moment or two before, with her tongue poking out in concentration, she put them back onto her feet. Anna held a breath in wonder; what a clever girl they had.

"Well, my darling, you won't need me soon enough," she said with just a touch of sadness as she scooped Eleanor into her arms, curling a finger around a loose ringlet. Eleanor beamed a wide grin, gurgling at her mother and fastening a fist onto Anna's shoulder.

Anna rocked her daughter happily, staring into her innocent blue eyes, trying to take her mind off the worry that was latching onto her. Eleanor wriggled around under her hands, reaching her little body and pointing towards the table on the other side of the room.

"Do you want to help Mummy with her sewing?"

Eleanor nodded eagerly and Anna gave a fond smile. Maybe she wanted to follow in her footsteps after all.

She had just settled Eleanor onto her lap, pushing the needles out of her reach and letting her stroke the spools of thread instead, when the door shut with a click, echoing in the hallway. Anna's heart couldn't fail to lift to the ceiling and as John arrived in the doorway, Eleanor greeted his arrival by clapping her hands and bouncing in Anna's lap.

Anna stood, bringing Eleanor's head up to meet John's lips, and then smiled as she got her turn, his mouth greeting hers with a soft and slow kiss. Her hand fell upon his arm, and she stayed stroking it when their eyes came to settle on one another. A look was usually all that was needed to catch up on the most pressing issues of the day, and they told each other enough in their shared gaze tonight. Anna wished dearly that she could let the harmony stretch on for the rest of the evening but knew she couldn't keep her head in the sand for much longer.

"Come on, then," she groaned, "give me the bad news."

John frowned a little, though affection remained in his eyes. "It's not like you to be the pessimistic one. Give me a chance to get through the door." He chuckled as he only now removed his bowler hat.

She sighed. "I'd rather know now than spend the time we do have together fretting."

John nodded in understanding and even though his countenance was soft, Anna started to go cold, bracing herself for what was to come.

The Granthams were due to take their annual holiday very soon, and though the last couple of years Lord Grantham had made do with some weekends spent up in London, now that the Flintshires had returned from India it was very likely that they would be returning to make a sojourn to Scotland for a prolonged amount of time. Anna had dreaded it for such a long time, the thought of John having to go on the trip. Of course, it was his duty and he couldn't dare refuse, and she realised she was being entirely selfish. She just couldn't bear being without him for so long, and Eleanor would pine awfully for her pa. The thought broke her heart. Though the Granthams were a wonderfully accommodating family, it would be a stretch even for them to allow them both to troop along with John, causing much commotion. He deserved a change of scenery, certainly more than most, but Anna rather it was with her and Eleanor. She would just have to grit her teeth and bear it, the best that she was able. She loved being at home, being a mother to their daughter, but it was at times like this that a little part of her wished she had stayed on.

"I spoke to Lord Grantham, and they will be going up to Duneagle in a couple of weeks."

Her stomach sank to beneath the floor. She tried to pin on a smile, but it slipped ill-fitting from her lips as she held Eleanor tighter.

He was smiling at her now, his hand reaching up to stroke Eleanor's soft hair as her head lay against Anna.

"But I won't be going with the house party."

She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her nose wrinkled in confusion and John let out a little laugh.

"His Lordship didn't think it would be fair for me to be away, not for so long. Thomas has been getting a bit restless around the house lately and this has worked out well for the both of us. For once, I'm happy to let him step into my shoes."

Anna laughed, relief flooding through her body. It seemed that Thomas did have his uses after all, and she knew that his and John's working relationship was now a far more civil one. She was already giddy with the thought that John would be at home for more than a half day and her head began to buzz with plans.

John took up her hand, grazing a light kiss over the back of it.

"You can finally get round to fixing that leaky tap," she joked, smiling up at the look in his eyes.

"Well, I'll try to look at it before we head off."

He smirked as the faint shadow returned to cover her expression.

"His Lordship suggested that I may like to have a holiday, too. Or rather," he stooped to lay a loving kiss on Eleanor's forehead as she became suddenly tired, "that we all have a holiday."

The glint lying in his gaze was immediately infectious, and Anna gasped as she took the news in. They'd never been so lucky to have a proper holiday, just by themselves. Of course it had been nice to be able to take trips together while she was working and they'd shared lovely moments, but as she had been reminded at the times, it wasn't really a holiday for them. Having the time especially for that would be quite different, and was very exciting.

"I…really, John, do you think we should? I know we're not that short of savings but we're not made of money either." As Eleanor was growing fast and certain repairs were in need of making round the cottage, Anna was well aware that they needed to be sensible, but it seemed John didn't share that worry.

"It's fine," he reassured in his smooth tone, bringing his arms to her waist, "I think we're entitled to spend a little bit, considering all we've done so far."

He chortled as Anna tilted her head in thought, becoming quite influenced by the way his fingertips were kneading her softly through her skirt.

"Besides, his Lordship said he would be happy to meet some of the cost. I insisted that there was no need, but he would not take no for an answer. Said it was the least he could do after the years of good service from the both of us."

Anna smiled, flattered and warmed by the gesture.

"Well, I suppose it would be terribly rude to refuse," she trilled, moving closer into her husband's embrace, cradling their daughter so that she was nestled between them. "Do you have any particular place in mind?"

She had an idea of a destination that she would like to visit, but the decision would be one made between the two of them. John's eyes shone with possibilities, and she longed to know what was in his head. She didn't have to wait very long.

"Well," he brushed his lips over her cheek, making her insides somersault, "there is somewhere…"

* * *

Anna cradled the teacup in her palm, her back stiff and not meeting the back of the armchair. She cringed as Eleanor began to screech louder, her steps tottering across the floor and arms flinging out.

"Eleanor, that's quite enough! You must behave when Mummy and Mrs Hughes are trying to have a conversation."

The housekeeper only smiled fondly at the little girl who gazed up at her mid-run with apologetic eyes. Her gaze drifted over to Anna who was still sitting huddled, mortified at the chaos her daughter was causing.

"I'm terribly sorry, Mrs Hughes," she offered, pulling her lips into a tight line. "I'm not sure what's got into her today."

"Oh, my girl, there's no need," the soft Scottish brogue sounded. "She's just excited to be up at the big house, knowing both her mummy and daddy are here too. Aren't you, my wee one?"

Eleanor gave Mrs Hughes a big grin, nodding her head and beginning to giggle. Anna smiled as she walked with wobbly legs towards where the housekeeper was sitting, and Mrs Hughes met the little girl before she could carry out the whole journey.

"Now, why don't we see if we can find you some crayons somewhere," she suggested, balancing Eleanor on her lap while she rooted through the drawer in her bureau, pulling out some paper. "I'm quite sure you won't scribble all over the walls, like little Miss Sybbie did."

Eleanor ran a hand over her face before she planted both elbows onto the table, starting to doodle studiously. Anna looked on with affection, finally relaxing as her little girl had calmed down, thanks in no small part to the attention of Mrs Hughes. She took a slow sip of tea as she sunk into the chair, watching them behave so naturally, like grandmother and granddaughter. In the absence of John's mother and her own Anna supposed she was rather like a grandmother figure to Eleanor, and she was fondly reminded of how important she had been to her in all the years she had worked and lived up at the house.

"And you know that you can call me Elsie now," Mrs Hughes remarked with a smile, looking at a slightly flushed Anna.

"Oh, it's just habit. You never quite fall out of some things."

"That's very true." Mrs Hughes seemed suddenly wistful in a moment, but broke out of it before Anna could ask anything. "So, Mr Bates tells me that you're heading to Scotland soon."

Her face brightened at the tone of the housekeeper's words, a note of lightness and shared excitement that could be heard.

"We are."

Anna tried to hide her smile behind the rim of the china cup. Even though she was in more than familiar company, she still felt rather shy and wary of letting certain things slip. Old habits were hard to shake out of.

"That is wonderful. You deserve some time away, all of you."

Anna felt the sincerity in Mrs Hughes's words, remembering how supportive she had been to both of them always, and nodded graciously.

The housekeeper lowered her teacup, adjusting its position by the handle in its saucer a few times. "Where about are you going?"

"The Isle of Skye," Anna replied, and grinned when she saw Mrs Hughes's eyes light up. "John…I mean, Mr Bates holidayed there when he was a child. I'm looking forward to seeing the places that he knows, and to bringing Eleanor there too. I just hope she'll be able to remember it in years to come."

"Oh, I'm sure she will. She's such an inquisitive little thing, and you don't realise how much they pick up at this age." She smiled seeing Mrs Hughes smooth an errant curl out of Eleanor's eyes. The housekeeper's face set itself into a far-off smile. "I know it quite well. I went myself a few times when I was a girl, and know of some people there. It's a lovely place, you'll all enjoy it very much, I'm sure."

Anna could detect the reminiscence in her words and smiled softly.

"You should go, sometime. I'm not saying with such short notice, but Mrs… _Elsie_ ," she corrected herself with a blush, "if anyone is deserving of a break, it's you. You haven't had a day to yourself since I've known you."

Mrs Hughes shrugged in her chair, bouncing Eleanor slightly with the movement. "Oh, I don't know. You know me, Anna, I'm happiest when I'm kept busy. I can't imagine what I would do with myself."

"Relax, that's what you would do," Anna replied, daring to be a little cheeky with her old superior. "The Granthams are very good, they'd be happy to let things run without you for a little bit."

"Oh, it's not the Granthams I worry about," she exclaimed, "I daren't think what it would do to Mr Carson."

Both of them chuckled, thinking about the harassed butler. Mrs Hughes was rather the calming influence on him.

"Don't fret yourself about me, my dear. I have enough time to myself once the day is done." She gave Anna a little smile that reassured her. "And I'm sure Mr Bates is knowledgeable enough, but I can give you some tips on where to visit, if you should need them."

"It can't hurt."

A soft knock sounded on the door, and after Mrs Hughes beckoned his entry, John pushed it open, the polite smile growing on his face when he caught sight of his wife sitting daintily in the armchair.

"Mr Bates," Mrs Hughes said heartily, "Is everything okay?"

"Quite, Mrs Hughes. I just wondered if I could have a word with Anna?"

"Well, of course you can." The housekeeper made to leave, Eleanor still held in her arms. The little girl reached a hand out towards her father and John took it with a grin, making her giggle when he made to 'steal' her nose. "I'll take her up to say hello to Miss Sybbie and Master George. They've rather missed their playmate."

Anna smiled at their daughter, rising to her feet and waving her off as Mrs Hughes took her from the room. She gazed up at John, thrilling as his presence was so close to her once more.

"I should do this more often, bring Eleanor up to the house for a bit. It's lovely thinking that we're both under the roof again."

"Then I'd never get any work done," he rasped, placing his hands at the small of her back and making her giggle.

"There is that," she conceded, trailing a finger softly over his jaw. It was rather surprising how quickly they could become so acquainted with each other. "Now, what did you want to speak to me about?"

"Well, I realised I never got the chance to kiss you before I left this morning," a twinkle gleamed in his eyes, making them seem more green than hazel at this moment. "And I believe that is a terrible wrong."

Anna tutted, trying to disguise her smile. "And you got rid of poor Mrs Hughes for that?"

He looked rather sheepish before the flame rose up in his heated gaze again.

"Knowing that it's crucial to the state of our marriage, I'm sure she'd be happy with it."

"Silly beg…"

Before she could finish, his mouth had crashed onto hers, taking her very pleasantly by surprise. At first frantic with longing and passion, the kiss slowed down by pace and knowledge of each other. Anna felt her body going limp as she fell deeper, saved by the strength of his arms which tenderly caressed her while his tongue played gentle strokes against her lips.

She was dizzy and rather dazed when they concluded, both with wide smiles on their faces. It took her a while to come back to earth and think straight, and she could only wonder at what their break away would hold in store if a mere few hours apart had this effect on them.

"Mrs Hughes said she would give us some pointers of things to do," Anna said, her reedy voice slowly steadying out, her fingers toying with the edge of his jacket. "If we did run out."

A delicious smirk spread across John's lips, still red from their efforts.

"Oh, Mrs Bates, I have a feeling we won't go short."

* * *

A soft thud sounded on the floor behind Anna's feet. She jerked around and smiled when she saw John standing in the doorway, leaning on his cane, giving her a warm look from beneath the brim of his hat.

"I'll just go and get the rest of the luggage."

Anna sighed as she rocked Eleanor, the little girl very sleepy in her embrace.

"I feel terribly useless not helping out. You shouldn't have to do all the work," she frowned, feeling guilty for the several trips he would have to take up and down the narrow staircase.

"It's no bother," John assured with an honest smile, walking into the room specifically to press a kiss to her temple and stroke Eleanor's head softly before he left again. "You've handled the most precious cargo."

Anna beamed down at their daughter, now completely tired out from the journey. She was feeling quite worn out herself, partly from the lengthy travelling but also she supposed by the exhaustion that came from such frantic excited energy coursing through her veins.

She had quite forgotten how long it would take to get to Scotland; it had been a while since the last trip, she supposed. As they were departing on the same day, the Granthams had been kind enough to let John, Anna and Eleanor travel up with them on the train. They were especially overwhelmed to learn that Lord Grantham had arranged a compartment in first class just for them, tipping his hat to John and saying that it was just a small token of his appreciation. Anna had worried that Eleanor might get a little giddy with excitement and disturb the quiet of the carriage, but she was perfectly behaved. It made her heart swell with pride and love to watch from across the compartment, quietly reading her book but really taking no notice of it when she could behold John with their daughter held close to him in his lap, keeping her enraptured with all kinds of stories, pointing out the hills that swiftly turned into great mountains and lochs that began to flow from outside the window.

Later when Eleanor settled for a nap Anna snuggled at John's side, him having shifted to allow her the seat by the window. She mewled with contentment as he whispered tales and well-worn memories of the country unfolding before them in her ear, and laughed as they reminisced about their previous train journey to Scotland spent in the slightly awkward company of Mr Molesley and Miss O'Brien. Such talk led them to be more grateful than ever for their private surroundings and they took advantage readily, indulging in deep and breathless kisses. Anna's blouse was half unbuttoned when the loud whistle sounded to signal the end of the journey and after the shock of it they were helpless with their laughter, John adeptly fixing her dishevelled appearance with nimble but gentle fingers, leaving a kiss brimming with sweetness on her cheek which did little to cool its flush.

The ferry ride over to the island was a less smooth trip, but thankfully it took less time than expected. Anna sighed in frustration when she discovered it would be a further trek up to the inn where they would be staying in a somewhat secluded village. John, as always, knew just what it took to soothe her frayed nerves and she allowed herself to melt into his arms moments before they boarded the cab that would take them there. Her troubles soon faded away as they were rocked by the chug of the wheels over the road and John's touch smoothed across her shoulder. She couldn't fail to be happy; this was only the start of their adventure away from the day-to-day realities of life, as sweet as they often were for them when they had each other.

The light was still streaming through the window when they got to their room; it really did never seem to get dark here, probably as they were still quite far in the north. Maybe one day they would get the chance to go to a more southerly part of the country. Anna drew the curtains over anyway, taking a look out at the view of the mountains in the distance before the room fell into shade. She swept her fingers over the curls nesting on Eleanor's forehead, slowing the motion of her rocking and kissed her a few times before placing her delicately in the little cot just beneath the window. She snuggled down in an instant, only stirring with sleepy eyes to reach out for her favourite stuffed bear. Anna gave it a kiss before placing it into their daughter's welcome arms, and then she was completely content.

A rather nice surprise awaited them when they got to the quaint inn; a kindly older woman was at the desk, greeting them with a warm, wide smile and already calling them by their names. Anna and John had stared at one another in puzzlement, until the owner introduced herself as Mrs MacLeod, an old friend of Elsie Hughes, who she had heard was housekeeper of a rather grand noble estate over the border in England. Neither of them had been aware when they had make the booking but it seemed like fate now, and when Anna had dropped into conversation the name of the inn at the last meeting before they left Mrs Hughes had telephoned her friend to let them know of the family's arrival and asked whether it would be possible to arrange a special room for them.

She wore the same smile, just a little wider, as she took them up to see what had been done. Anna instantly liked the woman, especially charmed by the way that she fussed over Eleanor when she had no need to. It was like a reminder of being back at Downton, and so they felt comfortable straight away. They both smiled graciously when Mrs MacLeod placed the key in the door and showed off the room. Even though she assured them it was the biggest suite in the inn and they didn't disbelieve her, it was on the 'cosy' side to say the least.

Anna wandered around, though it didn't take her very long to circle the space. It was just about big enough to house a double bed, the cot which had been cramped in, a small dressing table and a bedside cabinet. They did have a little private bathroom adjoining, which was a luxury. Anna's eyes raked up the walls, taking in the flecked wallpaper that was peeling slightly at the corner of the rail. There was a distinct scent of dried lavender coming from the flowers that had been placed upon the cabinet which didn't quite disguise the musty smell that lingered. She smiled to herself, being reminded of the absolute state of disrepair they had been confronted with when they first moved into the cottage. This was nowhere near as bad, and they managed to cope quite admirably with that.

She gasped a little when she turned around, not expecting to see John there. A smirk rose on his face as she blushed a rosy shade of pink.

"You took me by surprise, sneaking in like that," she exclaimed, pretending to be taken aback.

"You were worlds away," he replied, and Anna shrunk with a bit of shame getting lost amongst her reverie. John chortled fondly, letting the final valise drop down and walking towards her. "I don't mind. You should know you look very pretty when you dream."

"Do I?" she enquired, blinking her long lashes deliberately. "I feel rather lost when you're not there with me."

He smiled, a haze all of his own crossing his expression.

"That's because I'm held back in reality, admiring this gorgeous creature that is my wife. I still pinch myself several times a day just to check that it's all true. That you're mine."

Anna chuckled, a few strands falling from her bun that had become loose anyway from travelling.

"Well I am, so there's no need to inflict that on yourself."

Sentimental smiles flowed between them and Anna watched John's gaze drift around the room, following his movements as he began to check the contents over for himself, his brow furrowing as he ensured that everything was just so.

"It is a little bit smaller than we would have hoped," she heard herself sigh, seeing now how tightly the furniture was squeezed in. She winced thinking how painful it would be if John hit his knee on the edge of the cabinet getting out of bed, and reminded herself to make sure she slept on that side. "But I don't suppose it matters that much. Not when we'll be spending most of the time out of doors. As a place to lay our heads, it does quite well."

"Oh, doesn't it?"

She turned to find John sitting upon the bed, his long legs crossed at the ankles as his hands reclined back on the mattress, which she could see was very soft and pliable. He had removed his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves so that his muscular forearms were on display, and Anna teethed her bottom lip. If she was in a more refreshed state she would have pounced on him right there and then. She was aware of sensations stirring within her, replenishing her just by the sheer sight of him.

He patted the sheets with his palm, stroking the fabric reverently. His lips pulled themselves upwards and Anna was very drawn to them in that moment.

"I rather hoped we could be content exploring our current surroundings for a while."

The rasp of his voice and its particular quaver shot straight to her centre.

"There's not that much to explore," she laughed, keeping her voice as calm and controlled as she could venture while hinting that she was very much aware of the terrains he was alluding to.

John heaved himself from the bed when Anna did not relent to join him. As he paced the floor, watching her, she gave out a tuneful giggle, smiling a vibrant smile and flickering the little guide brochure in her hands. She tried her best to focus her attention upon it, but it was rather difficult when his eyes were burning such a persistent hole through her very being.

"There are so many beautiful things to see here, and on some of the other islands not too far away too," Anna hummed. "I do hope we get a chance to visit most of them."

She glanced up to find his gaze had deepened upon her, the spark within unmistakable.

"I happen to think that I'm looking upon the most beautiful sight that there is."

He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and Anna relaxed in his hold, chuckling to herself. Her husband was in quite the provocative mood all of a sudden; she wondered to herself if it was his Scottish blood rising. Whatever the cause, she had to say she rather enjoyed the kisses he was nuzzling against her neck and the way the tip of his tongue poked out just teasingly to stroke over the sensitive line of skin there. They were intimate as much as it was possible to be, probably even more than most couples in their position were, but it was still tricky with a toddler who demanded both of their attention equally and so constantly.

"It's alright for you," she stuttered, willing herself to get a grasp. "You've likely seen a great deal already. I am a completely new tourist in these parts."

"Well, I'm more than happy and willing to show you around," his voice rumbled in her ear as he pressed her hips lightly. "I think you're only too aware of that by now, Mrs Bates."

She felt herself flashing heat from head to toe, even if they were alone. Perhaps since she had become a mother she just wasn't used to being quite so racy. A part of her felt rather unsure of herself, and even somewhat disappointed for John's sake. She knew that he did love her however, whatever and he couldn't have been more reassuring in the time that it had taken her to feel comfortable again after Eleanor's birth. They'd certainly been able to enjoy themselves in the meantime but she did wonder whether she had been rather reserved since, covering herself up more when they made love and being happy to let John take most of the initiative.

A long, gaping yawn escaped her unbidden as John moved his mouth round to her cheek. Anna shuddered again, feeling bad that she had spoilt the moment as it was just starting to simmer.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, "I think the trip has taken it out of me."

"Hush, you never need say that to me."

He laid a comforting kiss upon her warm cheek, his hands having risen up to her shoulders. Anna let out a prolonged sigh as John began to knead her through her layers, relieving the aches from her muscles until she felt as light and fluid as the lochs themselves beneath his fingers.

"Let me undress you."

Even though he meant it entirely innocently, she still shivered, as she believed she always would. Anna let her limbs loosen, relinquishing control as John delicately removed her items of clothing. She was still impressed at how quickly yet carefully he was able to untie her corset. His hands brushed her bare skin imperceptibly when he slid the nightgown over her head, taking the pins from her hair. Her smile was hazy as he led her to the covers, ensuring she was at ease, then he undressed himself. She was lucid enough to take in flashes of skin and the darkness of the hair upon his chest, and she felt pleasantly warm before he climbed in to meet her side, clad now in his pyjamas.

He dropped a feather kiss onto her awaiting lips, his arm in place around her.

"Let's get an early night tonight and refresh ourselves for the new day tomorrow." Before he leaned to turn the light out and let her burrow into his arms, he smiled a glance at the brochure that had been discarded onto the cabinet at her side of the bed. "There'll be time enough for us to go everywhere and see everything."

John breathed an almost silent chuckle to see that sleep had claimed Anna quickly; she was now snuffling lightly, her palm and head rested partially on his chest. He shifted very carefully down so as not to disturb her, his fingers stroking her golden tresses.

For now, she was in another place completely.


	2. Chapter 2

The first few days of their holiday were certainly very full, as they made the most of what there was to see in the area and a little beyond. They took in their fair share of sights, including the breathtaking mountain scopes that made Anna feel incredibly small but so free at the same time. An afternoon was spent down at the pretty little harbour that John had frequented in the summer holidays of his youth and Eleanor was especially pleased to see the boats that bobbed along, squealing her delight at the way they glided by. They enjoyed picturesque walks that made them tired out when they reached the other end, and Anna took a little time perusing the row of shops that lined the village lane just down the road from the inn, purchasing a couple of small trinkets and souvenirs to go on the shelves at their cottage.

Anna was simply ecstatic to see father and daughter so happy in each other's company; John lavished so much attention on Eleanor, and Anna would have complained that he was running the risk of spoiling her but she simply did not have the heart to intervene, not when it was overflowing with so much love. During an especially prolonged game of peek-a-boo in which John was a very sorry loser, Eleanor was overjoyed to have not caught the gaze of her father for so long that she let out a screech of a giggle which made her little hands slip from her eyes. In return, John was so pleased to have finally discovered his daughter that he grasped her chubby little body, covering her face with kisses. The sight nearly made Anna cry with sheer joy. She knew that John had to work and that he enjoyed his duty at Downton, but such precious moments made her very glad indeed that they had been afforded such a break away.

This evening Mrs MacLeod had very kindly offered to look after Eleanor at the inn to allow Anna and John to go for dinner at a little restaurant not too far away. They had both argued that it was too much and John offered to add a little more money onto their bill for the trouble but the owner blankly refused, saying that she was only too happy to step in and help. Anna fussed for a while before they left, checking that Eleanor had everything that she would need, but the little girl was not fazed at all and indeed seemed very comfortable in the woman's company. They were quite lucky they had such a pleasant and placid child. The smile that she wore put Anna's mind at ease as John slipped her hand into his, leading them from the inn and into the special evening ahead.

"I know it's hard to leave her behind," he whispered soothingly into her ear, "but she certainly seems fine. It's not for long. We'll be back with her sooner than you know."

"I hope not too soon," Anna smiled up at him, happy to see the crinkles deepening at the corners of his eyes.

"I hope you enjoy yourself this evening."

She beamed brightly, squeezing his fingers in hers. "I'm sure I will."

* * *

Though it wasn't the quietest of places, being the only small restaurant in not too far a distance, it was haven enough for Anna and John to escape and happily get lost in their conversation. For some reason they never ran out of things to talk about. The dinner that was served was delicious. Browsing the menu, Anna decided she wasn't quite daring enough to order the haggis and instead plumped for a steak. John did the same, and they enjoyed their meal together, Anna making her way through daintily and stopping to smile every now and then at John, their gazes flickering and glowing like the candlelight that was before them.

As she finished, she moved to pick up the napkin and bring it to her lips but John caught her hand before she could do so. Anna smiled down at the way their fingers fit so perfectly together and then looked at her perfect husband, feeling ever so thankful for him, for this moment and the many more that were to come in their lives.

"Are you having a good time up here so far?" His question was keen, his voice containing a little rasp of searching.

Anna moved the tips of her fingers over the curve of John's hand, her eyes soft as she caressed his skin.

"Of course I am," she answered sincerely. "It's been entirely wonderful. You know, I thought things were fine as they stood. Of course I am beside myself with happiness whenever I am with you," her heart melted as she saw John's gaze dip, a bashful half-smile spreading across his face, "but I think this came at just the right time. This time away has been just what we need."

He nodded reverently as he rose his head to look up at her again, tracing his fingers over her open palm. "I have to say, it is nice being waited on for a change. For once."

Anna giggled, seeing the singular waiter bustle around behind them, looking quite flustered indeed. Memories entered both of their heads, of the last time they were up in the highlands. As they shared their thoughts silently, they rushed to speak at once. Anna laughed again, bobbing her head in thanks as John let her go ahead.

"It's certainly quite different from that servants' hall at Duneagle. We have a Mrs Hughes here, for one," she smiled, wondering whether Eleanor was currently trying the patience of Mrs MacLeod.

"And that's a blessing. I must say I rather missed her when we were there," John mused.

"Ah, but then there is only one Mrs Hughes," Anna added quickly.

John pursed his lips in a smile. "That there is. Long may she remain."

They raised their glasses as a toast to the housekeeper, their great friend and eternal supporter. Anna smiled as John leant over the table, taking up her hand again.

"I can certainly get closer to you here than I ever could there," he remarked with a cheeky grin. "For such a big space there wasn't much chance to escape. And there were eyes on us everywhere."

"Worse than Mr Carson," Anna laughed, feeling rather sorry for the butler at Downton. His bark was much worse than his bite.

Her eyes lit up with a glint as she recalled the many longing looks and rousing smiles that John had cast over the table when they were residing at Duneagle. At the time she was more than a little annoyed at not being able to take up place beside him, feeling that it was very strange given all she was used to over so many years. But it had added a certain frisson of excitement, only being allowed to share heated glances before they were given a little space to themselves to walk the grounds. And then they certainly made up for it, finding secret corners to hide in, letting their giggles escape them and their kisses flow. Her cheeks flushed now thinking back, and the butterflies burst to life in her stomach.

"And here we can be called Mr and Mrs Bates, rather than Mr Grantham and Miss Crawley," he said with a huff of a laugh.

Anna fluttered her eyelashes, a delicious smirk dancing upon her lips.

"Oh, I rather liked that, once I got used to it," she confessed with a little giggle. "It made me feel like we were other people, just for a little bit. That we were being quite risqué."

A grin broke across John's face, one that she had only ever seen once before, in a place that was much darker and unforgiving, that she would have shut out of her mind entirely if it hadn't been for that wonderful fragment of a memory.

"Always being a naughty girl," he growled in a hush that only she could hear and she delighted in the title.

She glanced down at the table for a moment, sighing as he tenderly stroked her wrist.

"I am glad that we were there together. There were times when I felt very out of place."

John's eyebrows quirked up at her, a flash of anger in his face that something might have happened while they were there and she had been keeping it to herself. She quickly shook her head to allay his fears.

"It was nothing really, just me being silly," she brushed the hand he wasn't holding against her neck self-consciously. "I just know some people there thought me very funny. I suppose I didn't help myself with some of the things I came out with." She could feel his eyes warm and loving upon her, the exact opposite from some of the cold glances she had received from the household at Duneagle. "I don't know, I just felt…different."

A rush went through her when he left the imprint of his lips on her hand.

"That's because you are one of a kind, Anna May Bates," he said with such sincerity and raw emotion, "and everyone knew it. And if they didn't when you arrived then they certainly did when you left. Dancing in that dress…"

She smiled a little shyly as his voice trailed off, reminded of how she reeled and whirled at the centre of the ball for all to behold, though she only ever cared what he thought. She still wasn't quite sure where she had got the courage from to do such a thing, but none of her fear mattered when she saw the smile on his face.

"You were marvellous. You  _are_  marvellous."

He managed to get up and give her a swift, sweet kiss before their desserts arrived, John giving the waiter a polite smile as he took his seat again. Anna couldn't help but laugh at his impromptu display of affection, feeling tingly all over.

Spoons clinked against plates as they finished up their cakes, and John fixed Anna with a meaningful look.

"So," he began slowly, his face contorted as if were turning a matter of great importance over in his mind, "couldn't you see yourself ever living here? One day, in the future, perhaps?"

The question shocked her a little, but not in a bad way. Since starting their family it was true that she wasn't quite picturing herself living in Downton for the remainder of her days as she had done some years before, but she hadn't given much thought to moving to Scotland.

"Maybe," she answered honestly, her gradual smile bringing light into his. "Are you thinking perhaps we could take over from Mrs MacLeod?"

"Not that I would wish to hurry her along," John said quickly, clearly delighted she was still holding onto the dream that they had shared so long ago. "But, possibly. If you liked it here enough, that is."

She smiled, always so flattered that he put her welfare and wishes before all else.

"Well, I think it has been perfectly lovely so far." And it certainly had.

John hid his grin for a moment behind her hand, giving it another kiss.

"I think wherever I am with you is perfectly lovely."

* * *

Anna let out a deep breath and shuddered with the movement where she stood, fingertips skittering at her thighs which were barely covered. There was no mirror in the room for her to assess her appearance, and she didn't know whether that made things better or much worse. Oh, she could be very foolish at times. Self-consciousness overcame her and became her. She was older now, she was a mother; what on earth was she doing trussing herself up as if she was gracing the cover of a magazine?

She heard soft shuffles, clinking, the gurgle of water; John was taking his time preparing for bed in the little bathroom. A hesitant smile deepened on her face after she blew air through her pursed lips. He was precisely the reason for her parade. He was the reason for everything, she thought fondly.

It was now or never, Anna had decided. They had had such a lovely evening, just the two of them, sharing hopes and dreams and a few kisses. She was a little sad it would have to draw to an end when they got back to the inn, but she had been in for another surprise. Mrs MacLeod greeted them alone, dismissing their worries that Eleanor may have been a handful. The little girl had been as good as gold, she said, and had worn herself out with games and laughter. She had put her down for sleep in the back room about an hour ago and having checked just before Anna and John arrived, found she was still lost to the world. There was little use waking her up, the older woman reasoned, and said that she wouldn't mind at all watching over her for the night; she would take her up to her own room. After heaping thanks on the owner, Anna and John shared a hopeful smile with one another as they ascended the stairs. A whole night to themselves; they couldn't have imagined such a treat.

The air was so much colder up here; it sent prickles careening all over her skin, and the silk that clung to her every curve didn't do anything to help matters. In a rush, she snatched up the old robe that lay on the bed, a drab contrast to the delicate peach teddy she had slipped on, and threw it around her body. Her eyes filled suddenly as she lifted them to the ceiling, arms hugging around herself, and one of the voices whirling in her head told her off soundly.

She wanted so much to do something special for John. He deserved it, after all the long hours he spent working his fingers to the bone. Each night he would come back to the cottage, aching and exhausted, and yet he would still find the time to lavish her in affection and cater to her often foolish whims. Over the years he had told her so many times that he wasn't worthy of her, but now she couldn't help but think that it was quite the other way round.

Her doubts had been crippling recently, and she couldn't work out quite why. She ran her hands slowly over herself on top of the robe and bristled at what she was able to feel, the softness that wasn't new. Her body had changed; she knew that it would do. She couldn't have remained so slight and supple forever, especially after bearing their daughter. In quiet moments, lying in the dark, she tormented herself with the thought that John had not dared to say anything about it, the revulsion he must have felt sinking his fingers into her. He was too sweet, too keen to please her. When he ran his lips over her, kissing every bit of creamy pale skin that he uncovered and marking her with such reverence, she almost cried with it. There had been times that she had, stifling her sobs in the pillow afterwards. His hands and then his mouth were on her as she lay there juddering, often both in conjunction. Comforting her, worshipping her, telling her that she was loved; however she might have been now and however she would be for the rest of eternity.

The memories of so many beautiful nights sent a different sensation charging through her, and as she heard movements making their way closer to the door, Anna smiled, much more assuredly now. She sprang round the room, lighting the candles that she had bought the other day, and then placed herself at the foot of the bed, flinging the covering of the robe decisively to the floor, exposing the gift she had lovingly prepared for her husband.

John came out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair with the towel, a spot of shaving cream still visible by his ear. Anna's eyes lingered upon it before they were met in pleasant surprise with his, having darkened from the moment he took her in, her shapely legs crossed and her knees rose up a little.

His mouth closed after a few moments and curled into a deeply appreciative smile that made Anna glow. She noticed that he couldn't take his eyes off the lace that adorned the chemise almost to the waist, sheer and leaving little to the imagination. Rising to her feet, it was the gentle sway of her hips that held him entranced as she came towards him. He met her halfway, hands reaching to touch the fine satin and then the silk of her skin.

"Will I do?" she said sweetly, the little roses adorning the neckline wavering just slightly as his warm breath fell upon her.

John's eyes blinked in wonder, his mouth opening before he formed the words.

"My, Mrs Bates…" he began, his gaze raking over her before they settled in the sapphires of her eyes. "I don't know if there are adequate words for the way you look. You look sensational."

She smiled bashfully, very pleased indeed that the gown had had the desired effect upon him. With his strong hands, he pulled her gently to him and she let out a laugh, her fingers looping underneath his braces as his head dipped to give her a kiss that was blistering with the passion that lay beneath it.

His fingers were running all over her, tracing the dips of her body underneath the silk and lace that could have come apart in his hands.

"Tell me," he rasped hoarsely, fascinated with all that he was encountering about her, seemingly so new to him, "did you wear this the last time you were up here?"

She didn't stop her giggles, recalling how they had been housed in separate rooms at Duneagle, it had seemed like miles apart. They knew it was wishful thinking that they would have been able to be together at night; servants were certainly not afforded the same rights as their masters and mistresses, no matter if they were married. The goosepimples returned to cloak her, remembering how cold she had been without the warmth of his arms around her, of how she had almost gone mad for want of him. She had never imagined that desire could consume her so.

"Well, I bought this especially for this trip," she trilled, her fingertips brushing the lace and meeting his in a moment, "but I can say that I did not." She didn't even attempt to bite back her mischievous smile. "I was all bundled up in layers. It would have been useless to have worn this kind of thing without you."

"I believe it would have been quite useless either way," he grinned wickedly, and Anna laughed. They both knew that if he would have been with her on the nights of that trip that she would have worn nothing but a smile in no time at all.

His hands worked their way upwards, slipping over the silk. Anna's breath caught in her throat as the tips of his fingers swept by her breasts.

"Well, Mrs Bates, I think this will be a very memorable trip indeed."

She smiled when he circled his hand over her shoulder, pulling down one of the straps of the chemise. As he did so, she took down his braces with a little less grace, eager to feel his skin against hers. John was determined to take his time with the process, unveiling his wife delicately, savouring every part of her. Anna was surprised when he left her upper body alone for the moment, choosing to trail his hands back down towards her thighs. She felt a rush of air as he lifted the hem of the chemise and then delighted when his fingers met the lace of the garter that was gathered at the top of her right thigh.

His face lit up instantly and heat rushed through Anna observing the change in his breathing. She would never get tired of this discovery, and watching him closely believed that he wouldn't either.

"Now, this I do remember from last time," he whispered, and Anna flushed, still feeling how his touch had been so gentle while they laid back on the picnic blanket, his fingertips as soft as they had been yearning.

John pulled his head away just as she was able to properly taste his lips, and he took a long look at her while his hands still caressed at the dainty garment and the skin that surrounded it. It was as though he had gone thirsty for years and he was drinking her in as if she was life itself. Anna shivered as his fingers hooked in, guiding the garter lower down her leg, his touch leaving sparks in its wake. As it landed on the floor, the touches became less lingering as did their kisses that resumed. Her petite frame moulded itself to his breadth; she adored the feeling of him against her, almost making her disappear. Their hands were all over one another, desperate to seek everything out but just as happy to enjoy the discovery. John was nibbling at her neck and Anna cried out sharply, arching her head back to urge him on to pour more kisses there. Every one was like a bolt sent to her soul, and as she clambered to have more of him, she was certain that it wouldn't be long at all until she was undone. Had it been this easy before?

"Oh, John,  _please_ …"

She heard her moans reverberating on the air, and then a crying sound in the distance, coming closer. They were still revelling in the stroke of each other's lips when a knock landed on the door.

"Mr and Mrs Bates?" a soft, muffled voice came from nowhere. "I'm very sorry to disturb you."

Anna and John sprung apart, eyes shooting open and wide at each other in shock. Their breathing was ragged and the chemise Anna was just about still wearing was rucked up at quite an angle. For a moment, the room faded away and the shame of it was almost as if they had been caught laid out together on the table in the servants' hall.

Another knock echoed, and Anna's hands flew up to her mouth to muffle her giggles. John gave her a slightly disapproving look over his shoulder before he began to chortle too, running a hand through his hair and adjusting the braces that had nearly been snapped from him.

He was met with a flushed Mrs MacLeod when he opened the door, cradling Eleanor whose face was red with the effort of weeping. She instantly held out her arms towards her father and John scooped her up, smoothing her hair and saying hushed words to comfort her.

"The poor bairn woke up with quite a fright. I suspect she must have had a bad dream, the dear love." She peeked her head around the door to try and find Anna, but she wasn't in sight. "I thought Mummy and Daddy could calm her better than I could ever try."

"Thank you, Mrs MacLeod, for looking after her for so long," John bobbed his daughter in his arms, her head laying on his chest. She seemed to be feeling easier now, whatever had scared her a fleeting and forgotten memory. "We're incredibly grateful for your help."

"Oh, it was no bother," the owner said softly, reaching to give Eleanor's little leg a pat. "We had a lovely time. I'm just sorry it had to end like this."

"Don't worry about it. Thank you again."

John left Mrs MacLeod with a warm, genuine smile, closing the door softly behind him. Anna came out of the corner she had been hiding in, the chagrin falling quickly from her face. She padded across the room, tying the robe to her before she got to her husband and daughter, borrowing a kiss from them both. Eleanor rubbed her tiny fists over her eyes as if she was just as embarrassed by her display and Anna cupped her soft little cheek in her palm, stroking it soothingly. She looked up at John who raised his eyebrows in slight exasperation before they both burst out into laughter.

"I suppose the moment has gone, then?" she asked, taking Eleanor from him and smiling as the little girl grabbed the wearing material at her shoulder, nuzzling her face into her mother's neck.

John used his freed grip to place a hand on her waist, the contact sending another surge through Anna as he guided her along.

"Not to worry," he said reassuringly, "there will be many more to come."

As the family of three gathered onto the bed, Eleanor nestling happily within the circle of her parents' arms, Anna knew she couldn't be too disappointed. In fact, she was feeling incredibly happy and surrounded by love. As John dropped a kiss onto her head and then met her lips chastely, she believed that his words were very right indeed.

They still had lots of moments to share.


	3. Chapter 3

John couldn't quite believe how refreshed he was feeling. Every night since the first they had come up here he had had a run of the most wonderful nights of sleep, virtually unbroken except for the turns he had taken in the early hours to see to Eleanor, but even their daughter, who had unfortunately taken after him when it came to sleeping, had found it much easier here. There was a lot that could be said for enjoying a good five to six restful hours. Not a lot to many, but a luxury to him. He often thought that it was his insomniac tendencies that made him well-placed to live the life of a servant, and he didn't complain about it much. But now he reasoned that he could quite get used to this.

He had found it much easier to sleep in the past few years, since Anna had lain at his side in their bed. A smile flew onto his face considering that for a long time the last thing that he had wanted to do in their bed was sleep. There was so much of her to know and discover, so many ways in which he could express his undying love for her. Even now he wasn't able to say that he had conveyed them all. The image was burned into his mind and his heart, of the way his wife looked when she was in the exquisite realms of pleasure that came from when they knew each other as only a husband and wife could. Her porcelain skin took on a beautiful pink flush, the skin that brushed her hairline glistened. Her breath would come in little gasps, increasing in frequency and sounding heavenly as she journeyed towards her end. Her rosebud lips puckered into a perfect circle and then a serene and sated smile would take over. She looked more gorgeous every single time, he felt as though he were a pauper made rich by the touch and love of a goddess.

Just as much, John was delighted to watch her sleep. She was a perfect angel when she slumbered, her hair seeming even more golden and appearing like her very own halo, flowing out around her on the pillow. Carefully, he would chart the gentle rise and fall of her chest, precious breath leaving her. The movement of her eyelashes as they delicately fluttered enchanted him, and he fascinated himself wondering what it was she was dreaming of. Sometimes she would snore very softly and he would tease her about the fact and she would blush deeply, though he thought the sound was simply adorable. More often she would moan and mumble as she turned onto her side, her arm meeting his middle. He could see her rosebud lips moving, shaping his name before it left her in a sigh. She would always smile in her sleep seconds after she said it and as the dark turned to dawn, his restless mind was soothed and his heart filled with peace and pride and overwhelming love for his wife; his wonderful Anna.

Anna was a deep sleeper anyway, but even more so up here. She wriggled and writhed within the sheets, drawing a hand over her eyes when the sunlight inched through the curtains each morning, burrowing herself deeper into the bed and his embrace. He couldn't resist her pleas for 'five more minutes', the mantra habitual to her from so many years even though they had all the time in the world for these few days. Each morning John pressed several kisses to her temples, humming as he felt her palm stroke aimlessly against the hair on his chest. As the light warmed the room they would gradually stir and be up before the usual hour when Eleanor became their alarm clock, and set about another day of adventuring around the Scottish landscape, each day bringing something new and irrevocably different from the last, but all of the experiences special in their own way; incredibly special as they shared them together, for themselves and not through anyone else. Though he had seen much of the scenes and sights many times before, in summers spent long ago, Anna's boundless enthusiasm made him consider everything through new eyes and he found himself amazed, able to see so much more now.

He was feeling especially invigorated this morning, in mind and body. As he stood by the window he was barely aware of the pain that typically convulsed in his knee at this hour that would make him grit his teeth sharply with its incessant throb, present even after Anna had tenderly massaged it before she rose from bed. He really had no idea what could have been the cause, though he wasn't going to complain about it. Perhaps it was a touch of magic, something to do with the fresh mountain air.

Through the morning mist he considered the mountains that loomed, his eyes instinctively picking out the highest point with its peak stretching it seemed even beyond the sky. He remembered vividly as a boy clambering from the bed at the crack of dawn at his grandmother's house, miles from here but where it was still visible. He would press his face and hands eagerly to the window before he ran like a bolt downstairs, gathering his explorer's supplies and exclaiming that today would be the day he would conquer the unconquerable summit, with enough time to spare to be back before supper. His mother would simply pat his head and shatter his dreams by saying that they had family to visit and errands to run; it would still be there after today after all, and for years he kept his solemn vow to climb it one day. He let out a chortle recalling his wide-eyed innocent wonder; if only he would have known about the other mountains he would have to scale, threatening to break him with how they impended.

The familiar ache reared up in remembrance, letting him know it was too good to be true. He wouldn't get round to fulfilling that childhood dream, but he couldn't say that he minded much now.

Years of memories and moments that he thought long forgotten began to teem and trickle through his head, and he smiled at almost every one. He tried to recall the last time he had been here before they had gone to Duneagle with the family. It was almost certainly before he had gone into service, perhaps the last summer he spent before he started as a footman. He must have barely been twenty. Until now he had not been aware of the longing to return, the many threads that tethered him here that had frayed a little at the edges but certainly had not been cut. Before he had given up trying to do anything that may gain her distracted attention, he had suggested to Vera that they take a trip, far away in the early days of their marriage. She had curled her lip and shrugged her shoulders with a heave, not interested in the slightest. She'd spent the best part of her life clawing her way out of what she called dull and boring country surroundings; why would she have wanted to swap the excitement and bustle of London to go back to that, even if it was only for the shortest of excursions?

Suppressing a shudder, John was incredibly pleased that he had never ventured here with Vera. As it was, everything remained unspoiled and absolutely perfect to share with Anna. As they spent their days touring, happening across landmarks and parts of his past that he wasn't ashamed of, Anna asked him about everything, her hand clasped around his arm, the excited smile gracing her face unlike any he had ever seen. She never got tired of wondering and he never got tired of telling her. Rubbing her wedding band between his fingers, he rejoiced inside as he knew this was always how it was meant to be. He couldn't have shared his fondest memories with anyone else, and he was beyond glad that he could give her as much bounty now to go some way to making up for the burdens he had placed upon her in times gone by. They strolled, and laughed, and kissed, and made many of their own memories.

He had been dressed for a little while, and was waiting patiently for Anna to get herself ready. Eleanor was amusing herself with her daydreams and as he swayed her in his arms, studying her thoughtful little features, he wondered what they were made up of. John laughed heartily as his daughter fixed him suddenly with a contemplative look, her button nose scrunching up, before it passed like a wisp of a cloud in a summer sky. Sitting her back down in the cot, being careful not to crease her pretty new dress too much, he took another glance out of the window before sitting down at the oak dressing table. The rush of the water could be heard splashing in the sink behind the door and John smiled as he heard Anna sing in a light tune, what she believed was just to herself, not knowing how much he relished and yearned to hear the sound each morning. There was not a thing about her that wasn't divine in its brilliance and yet so simply sweet in the sheer loveliness that she was.

Taking up the battered volume in his grasp, he let out a long breath. It was as though he had been taken back years, a melody floating through the air of the lassies singing tunefully while he was perched upon the hills, head buried amongst pages of words. They might have even been singing the ones he was reading, but he was too engrossed to notice at the time.

Since he was a child, Burns had been a mainstay in his life, there in times of joy and trouble with a verse that would hearten or otherwise relieve his heart of its anguish. When he had exhausted all the bedtime stories that his mother knew, his grandmother began to read Burns to him, passing it down from her father and his before him.  _To a Mouse_ was the most suitable at that young age, and he could still recite the verse by heart with all of its vibrant intonation and dialect. As he became an adolescent, he discovered the love poems, in their various forms, and found his appreciation deepened considerably as his eyes began to be opened to the world.

When everything seemed so uncertain in those early days at Downton, he would take out his copy of Burns to reassure himself of his proud heritage, of the man that he still was despite all of the slings and knocks life had taken delight in throwing at him. God knows he had read through all of the verses a million times or more, enough that he need not study them so closely, poring over each word as if it had only just been invented. Really, there was no need for him to have taken the book but he was unable to resist. Burns always seemed to read better, ring truer for him when he was read in Scotland and now he savoured every word with renewed vigour.

He looked upon one verse that had become so dear to him, engraved upon his heart.

 _Ae fond kiss, and then we sever;_  
Ae fareweel, alas, for ever!  
Deep in heart-wrung tears I'll pledge thee,  
Warring sighs and groans I'll wage thee.  
Who shall say that Fortune grieves him,  
While the star of hope she leaves him?  
Me, nae cheerful twinkle lights me;  
Dark despair around benights me.

John choked a sob in his throat as he read, recalling how he had clung to the words in his darkest hour, when shadows hung over his head and came so close to extinguishing his life. They were the words that had spurred him to ignore the shouting of the guard and to fight back even in defeat. Her face before him, so beautiful and innocent; never asking for any of it but never shying away either, remaining so strong when she had every right to crumble and even walk away. It was with that verse echoing in his mind that he reached to cup her face, to let her unwavering strength envelop him and her love flow through his veins, the last bit of life he would have in his own coming from her. Her lips trembled before he captured them with such tenderness and then rising passion; the one fond kiss taken before they were to be severed, at least in body.

It had been one of the most wonderful kisses they had shared; a sign of their true love that could never be broken. He thanked God every day that it had not been their last.

"What are you reading now?"

He snapped the book shut on hearing her soft voice that had a little lilt in it, the weighty thud making a little puff in the air.

"Oh, nothing I haven't read before," he said, the smirk curving his lips before he turned his body around in the chair, gripping his hand against the back.

At that moment he was glad he was sitting down. Anna sauntered towards him, her damp hair slicked back but still unbelievably glossy. He was hypnotised at first by the swing of her tresses over her shoulder as she patted the ends with the towel, and then by the sashay of her hips – she must have been doing it purposely, the little minx – undulating against her rather flimsy slip. She liked to save dressing in her clothes until she was in view of him, delighting in the way he would stop whatever he was doing to watch. It always proved to be a rather tantalising experience, somehow just as erotic as when he shed her of her garments prior to an intimate encounter. Sometimes it was even more so, and it took all the willpower he could muster not to sweep her up and reverse the process swiftly.

She wore a delicious smile, obviously quite aware of what she was doing to him. The stirrings within him built, and when she began to rake her fingers languidly, separating her hair, he was nearly done for. He got to his feet quickly, and she let out a little laugh.

_But to see her was to love her;  
Love but her, and love for ever._

His heart beat with the wings of a thousand birds to behold her before him. It did not matter if she so much as walked out of the room and walked back in a moment later; he would always feel the same rush whenever he had sight of her.

John took up her hand, brushing his lips over her knuckles before they rested just above where her wedding ring lay. Her skin was softer and still a little wet; when he was this close he could see the droplets of water that rested in the dip of her collarbone.

Anna sighed at his touch and then smiled up at him.

"So, where is it to be today?" she enquired, her hands bracing his body.

"I have a few things up my sleeve," he smiled as the fingers of one of her hands rose up fluidly, stating to unbutton said sleeve. Her touch was teasing, stroking back and forth, and John had to bite hard on his lip to quell the sensations that were rising.

Anna was closer now, having nestled against him almost unnoticeably; she was so dainty, she had the most terrific capacity to catch him by surprise. Her lips had capacities all of their own. They were tripping across his throat, honey and feather and fire all at once on his skin. This couldn't happen now, not when they were almost prepared to leave. Well, he supposed it could. The forecast seemed set for rain, he recalled; clouds were up ahead. Leaning forward he caught scent of her, the soap and hint of lavender cream. He could lose himself in everything about her, never to return. He had to take her delicately by the shoulders before he lost grip completely.

"Tell me about your ancestors," she was saying suddenly, "your Scottish blood. You never said all that much last time. Which isn't surprising."

She bit her lip and smirked with a look that was absolutely radiant, and it teased a wide grin out of him.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." She nuzzled a kiss against his neck, warm and open mouthed. It was agony not to groan when he felt the softness of her tongue ghosting there.

"It'd take all day."

"We can spare the time."

He smiled as he took her hands from where they were looped around his shoulders, entwining them in his own.

"The Clan Keith was established in the 9th century, when they were granted the title of Marischal of Scotland," he tried to keep his voice as steady as he could while Anna continued her ministrations, making her way to his ear. "They were commended for their valour. Legend has it that the three red lines on the clan's coat of arms was the mark of a Scottish warrior, likely of the clan, slaying a Danish general in battle. King Malcolm II showed his appreciation by dipping his fingers into the blood and marking the warrior's shield."

"Mmmm," Anna hummed, her lips pressed to his skin. "They sound terribly brave and fearless."

"Well, they did engage in many battles. I'm not sure all of them were entirely noble." That seemed rather appropriate, given the places his thoughts were going now, which were not very dignified at all. A smile slowly formed on his lips as something else drifted remembered to him. "They did have a rather fitting motto, though.  _Veritas Vincit._ 'Truth prevails'."

She pulled away, looking up at him with wide, impossibly blue eyes. He smiled reassuringly, rubbing her small fingers softly, taking away the pain that had crashed out of nowhere. She had been the one to prevail for them both; she was the strong one that kept them going.

Any tears that had sprung up were blinked away quickly. She was smiling back at him with so much love, and things he wasn't sure he would ever know.

Her body came closer to his and he had to gasp at how she felt, so very little separating him from her uncovered skin. What he could sense, her freshly washed skin mixed with the fine cotton of her slip, was almost too much to comprehend as she pressed ever more.

"I think you would have fitted right in," she breathed against him. "You are a brave warrior."

"I don't know about that."

"John Bates, listen to me."

He could never argue with her when she took that tone, and now he couldn't look away from her either, though he didn't want to.

She moistened her lips before she spoke again and the action drove him wild. Her palm was placed squarely upon his chest and she had that decisive, deep look burning in her eyes, one he was so familiar with now.

"You are brave, and fearless, and strong. My wonderful husband."

He sighed deeply, contentedly. He would never tire of being called that by her; it was what he was most proud of.

"You have conquered so much."

"Only because you have been at my side. If you hadn't…"

She placed a finger over his lips, making him shudder.

"Give your heritage some credit," a smile lit up her eyes. "No, I think your Scottish blood explains a lot." She had risen herself up now, a hand placed firm against his side, and he knew what was surely to follow. One look into her enticing eyes told him she was taking the lead, and he couldn't resist when that was the case. "It certainly explains why you're so passionate…"

He tugged upon her waist, utterly helpless by her charms.

"Come here," he was able to whisper before he levered her to his waiting lips. Meeting and matching her passion, he was possessed with a sudden urge to show her exactly what he was made of. His wife had no qualms, sighing into the kiss as it deepened, her hands flailing and then grasping at him. He supported her, hands caressing her as all thoughts of plans descended from his mind.

That was until a high-pitched squeal pierced the air.

They turned together to find Eleanor standing up in her cot, hands clapping. John and Anna smiled and then shared a little laugh before Anna went over to meet their daughter's outstretched arms.

"I think Madam here is waiting to explore," she beamed at their little girl, who was pointing into the distance, towards the snow-capped mountain.

 _Like father, like daughter,_  John thought.

* * *

The clouds had begun to dissipate and the wind died down the closer they got to the glen. Already the air was a different quality here, touched with freshness but a kind of natural wildness too that John enjoyed. Even though it was out in the country too, the air at Downton wasn't quite the same. He supposed nowhere was quite the same as here. He gulped in a lungful, raising his head to look towards the horizon. The path was getting a little rockier already, he could feel the loose stones under his feet. Swiftly his gaze turned to Anna and her steps. She was gripping Eleanor tight, shifting the little girl's weight around as she got restless in her arms.

"Let me walk with her for a little while," he offered, hooking his cane onto his arm in preparation to help settle their daughter down on the ground from her mother's hold.

"No John, it's fine," Anna's voice was a little breathless from the effort but still insistent. "She might trip and scrape herself on the stones. And we'd end up getting there sometime around midnight."

Eleanor seemed to want to get down and try the terrain herself, eager to prove that she was a big girl now and not a baby anymore. John reasoned that it probably wasn't the best place to practise her walking and inwardly cursed himself for not finding somewhere more suitable for their day out as well as not being able to carry his daughter, relieving his wife of the pressure. Familiar doubts crept up on him before he was aware and he felt even worse for allowing them to intrude now, of all times.

They soon flew away as he focused on their destination, very near in sight now. A sure smile rose on his face as his senses were becoming gradually invaded, the swish of the waterfalls sounding out, at once both calming and deeply exhilarating. He was becoming much better at letting his thoughts drift down and away from him now, cascading like the flow of clear water that tumbled.

It occurred to him with a touch of amusement that in this particular instance it was Anna who was the most worrisome about the outing. When he had first mentioned it to her, her face had scrunched in concern and she'd tried fervently to argue against going.

" _She's not old enough for that yet," she'd said, only swayed a little by his charming, partly-hidden grin. "She won't understand about it all, and she'll only be disappointed when she can't see anything."_

_John sauntered over towards where Anna was standing, hands on her hips, failing to bite back a smile at how lovely she appeared when she was defiant and perhaps even a touch annoyed about something. She looked at him with cautious cerulean eyes, her gaze darkening as she followed his movements closely. He came so close to skirting by her, close enough that she could reach out to take hold of him. He felt a little wicked for shifting away with a swiftness, hearing her tutting quickly peter out when he took up their daughter, bouncing her in his large hands. Eleanor's giggles began to fill the room and he was doubly triumphant when the smile finally cracked on his wife's face._

_There wasn't anything else that he needed to do to win her around, though he didn't mind trying his luck further if it should be required._

As their tandem steps began to slow to meet the incline, Anna began to voice her worries once more. John held out his hands signalling her to stop for a moment, so that he could move ahead a few paces, holding his hand out towards her to allow them to brace the dip together. She smiled as her dainty hand slid comfortably into his, his fingers giving hers a reassuring little squeeze.

"We won't venture that far," he assured, "There's a little space just down there, the pools are shallower and there are less rocks. The way is quite clear, and we'll still be able to enjoy the waterfall from there." He smiled as he watched their daughter's face, already aglow with anticipation. Letting go of Anna's hand for a moment, he reached to take Eleanor's tiny fist, rubbing the pads of his fingers over it gently while he bowed his head to her. "And I think we'll most certainly see lots of fairies. You know, this is one of their most favourite hiding places."

Eleanor made a little squeal of glee at her father's promise. Anna beamed down at their daughter, but still shook her head lightly.

"I still think she's too young to know what fairies really are. You may tell her stories about them but they go in one ear and out the other."

John raised his eyebrows. "I'm glad to know you think my storytelling is that enthralling."

"You know what I mean," Anna smiled, her eyes softening. "Of course she enjoys them in the moment, but she won't know of anything outside of that." She glanced back at Eleanor, whose eyes were shining towards her mother. "If a fairy fluttered itself on your shoulder right now, you wouldn't be in the least put out, would you, my darling?"

Eleanor grabbed fistfuls of the air, determined to catch one of the invisible creatures for herself. John laughed at her wonderment, combined with dogged determination.

"I think that's proof she knows perfectly well," he said confidently. "I was even younger when my grandmother told me tales about the creatures who lived in the Fairy Pools of Skye, and I recall them taking up in my dreams."

A ray of sun breaking through the clouded sky bathed Anna in the most beautiful light and once his breath was returned to him he couldn't help letting out a contented sigh. Yes, they'd most certainly always been in his most vivid dreams.

He took up Eleanor as Anna bent to unlace her boots, admiring the curve of her back, chuckling to himself when he wondered where she kept her wings hidden. He remembered tracing his fingers over the skin there again and again, letting her soft cries fill his head.

She rose up quickly, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear. He would never get over how beautiful she was in such simple moments as this one, when it was not as if she was from another world but simply that the world belonged to her alone.

"Anyway," he began again, dipping Eleanor to wet her feet a little in the pool, "it's in her blood to recognise them. Seeing as her mother is one of their kind."

Anna curled her lips; this was something she'd heard too often, he knew, but it never failed to make either of them smile, even if in Anna's case it was in utter disbelief.

"Not all this again," she retorted, with lightness in her tone. John could see the glimmer about her even now, especially in this light, it falling and making magical patterns on the water that he had never seen so clear. "John Bates, for someone so sensible, you can have some very funny ideas."

The way she chided him with that playful gaze and delicate smile turned him almost inside out.

"It makes perfect sense."

John watched her hitch the waistband of her skirt higher before she tentatively sank her bare feet in the shallow pool. Passing their daughter into her arms as the little girl went quite happily, he rested against the bank to take off his shoes and then his socks, wiggling his toes to meet the cool air. He glanced up mid-action to see that Anna's eyes were keen upon him, and most specifically his ankles and the beginning of his shins that were dusted with fine hair, now exposed as he had rolled up his trousers. His lips curved as he caught her ogling him; there wasn't the slightest hint of embarrassment on her face.

"For one, you're just the right size for a fairy."

He meant it entirely lovingly; of course he would have adored her if she became ten feet tall and made him positively Lilliputian, but he had to confess having a particular fancy for just how petite she was. He loved having to lower his gaze to meet her sparkling eyes, and in turn how she would crane her head back to the skies to take him in, arching herself instinctively to make her way to his lips. It might have been the natural protective instinct emerging in him, but it was much more than that. Somehow she was the one who made him feel safer when she wrapped her slender arms around him, moulding herself to his broadness.

As he waded forth, the surprisingly warm water washing over his skin, he studied her.

"Every single feature about you," John stopped to take a breath, marvelling at the flawlessness of her complexion, the beautiful arch of her brow, the gilt of the golden waves that crowned her head, "is pure Seelie fey."

He laughed for a moment, seeing the puzzlement cover her features.

"It would also explain how you manage to get so much done in a day," his fingers brushed hers softly as they stood, even the gentle babbling at their backs fading to nothing. "There has to be some magic in it."

"Well, believe me, if it were down to magic, I should make it work to my advantage more often."

She laughed tunefully, her eyes flashing as he gently grasped her shoulder. Between them, Eleanor cooed, her little eyes darting about impatiently, one of her hands patting John's chest repeatedly. Anna sunk her feet down into the sand and her body just that bit deeper into her husband's touch, smiling serenely at him before she frowned again.

"I don't know if I should be charmed by this or offended," she stated, her hand sliding to the bone of his hip. "Aren't fairies terribly wicked creatures? Is that really how my husband sees me?"

Her fingers began to sweep at the waistband of his trousers, and he had to stifle a moan. He had the inclination to think she was very wicked indeed, when she teased him like this.

"Some may be, but not all. There are light fairies and dark fairies; here in Scotland, the Seelie and Unseelie fey hold court."

He always wondered whether he was perhaps running the risk of rambling when he began to recount the tales from his youth, the part of his childhood that wasn't quite as hard as the rest of it. But Anna let him go on, held in rapture.

Looking into her eyes, bigger and bluer than he'd possibly ever seen, there was no question as to which kind she was.

"The Seelie court are benevolent beings. They seek help from and befriend humans, returning kindness shown to them with favours and blessings of their own. They work happily and constructively with one another, only ever coming out at twilight."

That would be one disadvantage, he considered, not to behold all of Anna's charms in the daylight as he could now, her standing before him like the gates of heaven themselves. But he thought of the moonlight brushing her skin, thought of the way she had sighed and smiled at him under the cover of darkness on their first night as man and wife.

John smirked as he considered the other qualities that the fairies of this area were famed for.

"Yet they're not all sweetness and light. They can cause mischief and if they're provoked, they will avenge the insults thrown at them."

He was reminded of all of the times in the servants' hall, when underneath her beautiful exterior Anna could give as good as she got from Miss O'Brien or Thomas, more often than not outsmarting them. He ought to have been shocked the first time he heard her say such things, yet it had only made him grow fonder of her. Until he was much more than that.

"But they are not the kind for vengeance for the sake of it. To act against someone or something, there needs to have been a serious wrong committed."

He had not realised the meaning until he said it, and looking at the recognition spread across Anna's features his heart swelled until he thought it would surely fight to break free from his chest. They could think on it now without words or anger or tears, or even reasoning why. Still, they didn't forget about that time; they could not. It had been an almighty test but it had only made them stronger, as had everything before and anything else that would come.

The flood of love he currently felt for her was too much, and he dipped his head to brush a searing but sweet kiss against her cheek, their toes touching each other in the water.

"And there is the final fact," he uttered, breathing love against her and the proof of their love that she held with all the gentility of a natural-born mother. "That you completely enchanted me. And you still do. You will always do."

Anna was blushing faintly when he pulled back to look at her, her smile in that instant the most captivating thing he had ever seen. She was weaving her spell without even being aware.

"So, Eleanor, what do you think? Does that sound like Mummy?"

John asked his daughter the question sincerely, but she turned her head away from her mother's gaze, more interested in the flap of a passing butterfly's wings, following the flutter with keen interest.

"I suppose not," Anna chuckled, smoothing the wrinkles in Eleanor's dress.

"She just wants to see what she can find. Come on, my little love," John heaved Eleanor up, her blonde curls bouncing as her head turned about, "Shall we go and see if we can spot the rest of Mummy's relatives?"

The little girl nodded eagerly, her hands waving into the air.

"I'll go and sit on the bank to watch you both," Anna's gaze floated down to where the water was quickly rising up her skirt, the hem draping into the pool even though it was shallow. "I'll be soaked to my skin if I stay here much longer."

John flashed a smile before he headed further down with Eleanor, being extra careful of how he charted his steps with his daughter wriggling in his hands.

Though father and daughter roamed for a little while, their search was rather fruitless, aside from discovering a few types of insects. John remarked that it was because they were out far too early in the day and that they would need to stay until dusk descended, which caused an unimpressed glare from Anna. He laughed heartily, fixing Eleanor onto his lap as he sat down on the bank, placing an arm around his wife, both bathing their feet in the water below, occasionally brushing them against each other.

They might not have been able to remain there until the night-time but it was most certainly a peaceful place, somewhere that both of them could see was very special. Only a few yards away the waterfall cascaded before their eyes and John was soothed beyond compare, watching and listening to the gentle rush while feeling Anna's head nestling against the crook of his neck. Her hand met his as it was circled securely around their daughter's middle and she began to issue little caresses that made his heart sing. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling that when her touch became a mere ghosting that perhaps she had dozed off with the tranquillity of it all.

He was pleasantly surprised only a moment later when her head jerked upwards, her fingers grasping onto his forearm.

"I must be seeing things," she said in a reed of a voice. "John, did you see that too?"

"See what, my love?"

He followed her gaze into the shimmer of the waterfall, which seemed to have taken on a different aspect.

"I'm sure I saw a flicker there in the stream…no, it couldn't possibly have been."

John smiled into his wife's face, Eleanor craning around to behold what was happening too.

"See, Eleanor," he said softly, holding on to their little girl tight, "it takes one of their own kind to be able to spot them."

* * *

There was no sweeter sound to his ears than the sound of his daughter's cheerful laughter ringing out, except when it was accompanied by the equally delightful harmony of his wife's own giggling. John was blessed to have both surrounding him right now, in their cosy room at the inn, and he turned on his heels to witness the sight that would always melt his heart.

Eleanor was shuffling around and giggling, looking up at her mother as they both sat on the blanket on the floor. Anna had her legs curled underneath her, smiling with sheer joy as all of her attention and love was focused on their daughter who was just before her. They played patcake and various other games, Eleanor's interest never seeming to wane as Anna kept her amused. Every so often, the little girl stopped to take a tiny bite of one of the sandwiches that had been left cast aside, the remnants from their picnic that they'd had to come back and enjoy indoors when the weather had started to turn, casting rain down onto the Scottish countryside. Not even a sharp shower could have spoiled their day; not even the ache that had started to rise in John's knee, meaning that he had had to move some time ago from beside his girls, could have made the slightest bit of difference to the wonderful time they had spent as a family, not just this day but for the whole of their holiday.

They were a family. For so long it had been the two of them, his Anna by his side to lean on and to speak his cause to the world when he was certain nobody had been able to hear. He had never taken it for granted; they had waited for what had seemed like an eternity to be together, to be able to live as husband and wife and be free in their love for one another. It had been a dream dear to them both to have a family of their own, but after so much uncertainty and turmoil they had been more than happy to simply wait and see where life took them. He knew that Anna wanted a child of her own; she had cooed over Master George whenever she could get the chance when he was a small baby, often helping the nanny to care for him when Lady Mary had shown little interest at first. He would go as far as to say that he saw the instinct in her when she had cradled little Charlie in the servants' hall all those years ago. At the time it had made his heart ache, picturing Anna with a baby, knowing that he would most likely never play the role of father to the child.

It had taken a little longer than either of them expected, and for a little while John wondered whether they would ever be blessed with a child, though he had never voiced the thought to Anna. It would have made him hurt and grieve for a time but he truly believed, after all that it had taken him to do so, that as long as they had one another they could live most happily. The vows they had made to each other were eternal, and were the most important bonds that would keep them forever.

But she had arrived to bless their lives, in ways they may have foreseen and so many others they could not have imagined. The light of their life; their precious daughter. She was so much like Anna, even though he could see many of his own traits in her. Each day as she grew and smiled and shouted and laughed, it was a new revelation. He thanked God for her. Thanked God for them both.

His reverie was broken by a loud huff, and Anna had risen from the ground, stooping to scoop up a displeased Eleanor. As she walked towards where he was standing, he noticed the daisies that had been threaded into Anna's hair, smiling when he saw Eleanor twiddling one in her hand.

"What's all this?" he asked softly to Eleanor, who promptly hid behind her hands. John chuckled at the display, glancing towards Anna who was smiling with pursed lips. "Is she feeling tired?"

"She might be, but I think it's more likely that she wants some pudding," Anna ascertained, seeing her daughter's grumpy expression and trying to stifle her giggles at how adorable she looked. "Whatever was I thinking, a picnic without any cakes? That's no good at all."

"You think of enough already, taking care of us both," John smiled. "We shall never be able to express how lucky we are to have you, though we can certainly try. Isn't that right, Eleanor?"

The little girl shouted her agreement in a loud voice, and they both widened their eyes at how one so tiny could make such a racket.

"I can pop to the bakery at the end of the village. It's not too late, they may have some things left."

Anna was shaking her head, and John watched entranced as a couple of the flowers fell unnoticed.

"John, there's no need. She's being spoilt as it is, she needs to learn."

"We're on holiday, and not for much longer," he reminded her with a smile that was wistful for a mere moment. "I think that's reason enough for a treat. And if not, I'm sure Mrs MacLeod would be happy to rustle something up."

"We've asked far too much of her," Anna gasped. "She already said she would look after Eleanor on our last night. The poor woman is run off her feet."

"I think she rather enjoys it. She is from the same mould as Mrs Hughes."

Anna smiled, her lashes fluttering when John delicately picked the remaining flower from her hair. He grinned in return when she reached her hand up, and they shared a laugh. It was soon suspended when he captured her mouth softly with his, bracing his hands for a moment against her hips.

"You were beautiful today," he whispered to her before he took up his things, the little flower carefully placed in his fingers as he swept it back just above her ear. "Far more of a beauty than any fairy of legend."

She swatted her hand gently against his chest, her fingers lingering for a minute under his overcoat.

"You are perfect with her, you know. I never thought you could be any more perfect but then you had our daughter."

"Hush," Anna said quickly, fingers dabbing at her eyes.

John swept his thumb over her cheek. "Both of you are the most precious things. I don't tell you enough."

"That's because we know," she quickly responded, which brought forth a smile from him.

"Still, you shouldn't have to just know." He pressed a kiss against Eleanor's hair before he looked up at his beautiful wife again. "You complete my life."

Anna's eyes were full now, and she was not ashamed to let her joyful tears flow.

"And you ours."

Those three words could be answered with nothing other than a smile and a kiss, which lingered perhaps a little too long, but neither of them cared. Everything was so perfect here, but then it would always be, wherever he was with them.

The sweetness of her lips brought him back to his promise, and leaving her with one more kiss he headed for the door.

"Oh, just one thing?" Anna's voice resounded in his head, as if she was still attached to his lips.

"Yes, my darling?"

"Custard cakes. If there are any."

He grinned at the hopeful look on her face. He was more than happy to answer any request she had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Ae Fond Kiss' by Robert Burns.
> 
> All of the research about Clan Keith came from that ever trusty source, Wikipedia.
> 
> I found the information about the Seelie fairies on Tumblr; it was quite convenient that they were from Scottish folklore ;) The Fairy Pools of Skye (a real place) was actually my point of inspiration for this story.


	4. Chapter 4

Their last night came around quickly, perhaps a little too quickly for both of their likings. John paced around the room, ready for the evening in the best suit he had that was not for working purposes, watching the light outside begin to fall by only a few degrees. This time tomorrow it would be darker; it was likely that the sun had already set further in the Yorkshire skies. They would not need to leave until mid-morning at the latest as their train back to Downton did not depart until the afternoon. He was glad that they would be able to have one last luxurious lie-in, for Anna's sake. There had been an extra liveliness and a glimmer in her eyes this past week and he was sure it had been down to the many hours of sleep she had been able to catch up on, years and years worth in such a short space of time. Of course, there had been other things that had contributed, not least the thousands of kisses they had shared. It was hard to fathom how each one could feel so thrilling, send his heart racing and pulsating to a slightly different beat each time. But then again, it wasn't surprising at all. Anything and everything was possible with his Anna; she made him a different man every time. Her love made him invincible.

He flicked open his pocket watch for what must have been the tenth time, feeling the weight of it in his palm but not even registering the very thing that it had been designed to tell. In his other hand he shifted his cane, letting it play out a steady rhythm against the floor. At least the worn carpet muffled the sound; he was growing irritated by it himself. Both actions were well-known nervous habits of his, and at this precise moment his nerves were growing to a fever pitch. He was ashamed of himself for feeling in such a state. Tonight was supposed to be special, and he would make it so. He would not let his petty pride or the prospect of embarrassment block his path. The heat was already rising from his neck, the collar of his shirt feeling uncomfortably tight and his stomach churning as his fingers brushed the piece of paper in his pocket when he finally stopped fiddling with the watch. His hand flew up quickly, adjusting the knot of his tie needlessly.

 _Get a grip of yourself, Bates_ , he repeated over and over in his head, gripping his cane as if it was the only thing sustaining his life, never mind just keeping him upright.

So much for being invincible.

His feet remembered their purpose, spurred on by the need to be close to her, to have some of his strength revived.

He moved across the room, coming to stand in the doorway of the small bathroom. His smile was instantaneous when he beheld her, the only tonic for all of his ills.

Anna was standing by the sink, leaning her slender frame forward a little. It was the only place she was able to judge, seeing her reflection in the narrow pane of glass that passed for a mirror. John could not help but think that she was the last person who needed such a device; she seemed to instinctively know precisely how to dress for any occasion, and to look simply wonderful. Perhaps it was years of having to know all the requirements of the Crawley girls, accompanying them to shops and dress fittings. John imagined that it was just natural in her. She had said to him so long ago that she was not a lady, but whenever he looked upon her the finest lady in any land was all that he was able to see. If it was up to him, she would be clothed from head to toe in the most exquisite finery on any night or day, but it was the truth to say that she did not require it to appear as the most beautiful woman that there ever was. In fact, diamonds and jewels would only seem dull set against her shine, as almost blindingly bright as it was.

She was tilting her head at angles that were just mere centimetres different each time, adjusting the cloche hat by so little this way and that that it would be barely noticeable to anyone who was not well versed in the matters of dressing on a professional level. When she seemed satisfied, placing the hat in the exact position she had had it moments previously, she took a couple of tiny steps back on her heels, only then letting an easy smile relax onto her face.

John's smile had not ceased all the while he had leant his weight against the doorframe. He had the strongest urge to sweep up behind her, scoop his arms around her waist and knock the hat from her head while he rained hungry kisses down on her delicate neck. Given the trouble that she had gone to, he imagined that such an act wouldn't be entirely welcome at this very moment.

"What do you think?" she asked without even having to turn her head towards him. Her hand braced the brim of the hat as she casted her eyes from underneath it. "I hope it doesn't seem too showy."

"It looks as if it were made just for you."

And it did. The purple felt complimented the cream of her skin perfectly, a rich contrast that made the blues of her irises seem like sapphires. A delicate red ribbon was gathered round the side, a vibrant splash that made her stand out in the crowd. The colour of love, passion and lust, for so much in life. It was relatively new, a present she had indulged in after her last birthday, not even a month ago, and the excitement she had displayed on purchasing it had made him equally as delighted.

Regrettably she had not much occasion to show it off, and considering how stunning she looked with it it had been a great shame. It would not do for church, was perhaps a touch too extravagant for shopping at the village. The one time she had worn it was a couple of weeks previous, when she had spent the afternoon with Lady Mary at her request. Even though she was cordial with her replacement lady's maid, she could not enjoy the same close relationship that had been so dear to her and she missed Anna's presence in her life, even though much had happened in both of their lives.

So perhaps it was understandable that she was fussing now, more than she usually would. He only wished that he could have taken her somewhere that would have been more fitting, but they had to make do with what was available. And he knew that in any circumstance, she would still stop the show, cause everyone around them to hold their breath with amazement.

"Perhaps I should have got something in a tartan."

She smiled amusedly, her shoulders lifting as she finally granted him her gaze in full view. He noticed she had waved her hair, a little bit poked out from beneath her hat. It was impossible to wipe the wide grin from his face. She was the absolute picture of grace, her dress coat ready to shield her from the chill of the night. If only his arms would have been enough to keep it from her. An array of thoughts whirled in his head and he had to work hard to quiet them, sure that he would have been quite shamed if she was able to hear them.

"Although," she sashayed past, making to pick up her purse and gloves from where they lay on the bed, "I suppose there's not much call to use it in Yorkshire."

He had become caught in a daze, mesmerised by her sway and effortless movement. Though he could see that her perfect pink lips were prised apart, he was unable to comprehend what she was saying, too lost in her to be aware of anything that was happening around them.

She caught onto this soon enough, her eyes giving an slightly exasperated but rousing flash.

"As much as it's wonderful in your world, I do hope you'll come out of it to join me for a bit tonight."

He gave a half-smile as she raised her eyebrows towards him, stretching her gloves over her fingers and breaking into a grin herself.

"I'm sorry that it's not anywhere better," he offered in an apologetic tone. "I suppose we're not exactly spoilt for choice here."

Anna bobbed her head a little as she draped her little black bag over her wrist.

"It doesn't matter to me. I could be in a gutter overflowing with rain at the edge of the street with you and I'd still have a marvellous evening," she said sincerely, letting out a little giggle at the image that had formed in her head. "I'm more concerned about you." Her blue eyes were almost translucent with softness. John noticed her folding back the sleeve on her coat absent-mindedly. "I don't want to think you'll be uncomfortable."

"I'll manage," he assured her, sliding into his own coat. "I worked in a pub for long enough and managed fine." Well, that was something of a lie, he thought to himself, but only because he was kept apart from her. "I'm quite sure I won't die of thirst. And as long as you're content, that's all that matters to me."

Her eyelashes fluttered down for the briefest of moments as she smiled gracefully, almost shyly, and he watched all of her movements with great intent.

John's cane clattered on the hardwood floor as they walked down the stairs together, and once they were at the bottom her arm slipped into the loop of his once more, and he felt much more comfortable. They gave a farewell to Mrs MacLeod at the front desk, and she assured them that Eleanor was quite well, being kept amused by her daughter who had been visiting for the weekend.

"She's as bonny and as happy as can be," the owner said in her rich Scottish brogue. "Now you two have a nice night to yourselves."

John gave a tip of his hat in Mrs MacLeod's direction, his free hand resting at the small of Anna's back as they made their way outside.

He hadn't realised how cold the night would be, and he felt a rush when Anna gripped onto him tighter, curling herself against him for comfort. He responded by giving her hand a gentle squeeze, and then letting his fingers press against her lightly. If he didn't have to walk with that cursed thing he could have done more to soothe her, but she seemed much appeased even with the slightest of touches, smiling up at him from underneath her hat. It had been raining; shallow puddles marked the pavements and the smell lingered in the air.

"It should be quite fun," Anna's voice echoed in the air as her feet weaved around the trickles of water that ran down the street. "A village celebration, with music and singing. Mrs MacLeod told me that it happens once every three months. I'm not entirely sure what it's for."

"I don't think anyone is," John chuckled heartily, hearing their steps fall at the same time. "I dare say that not much excuse is needed for a good time around here."

Anna laughed too, giving a little bounce of her shoulders as he shot her a look.

"Still, it's rather nice that it's on our last night," she noted. "It'll make for a fitting send-off."

As much as she tried to disguise it, there was a note of sadness apparent in her tone. John shared in it, and sorrowed in it too. It would have been impossible for her to always be full of joys, but he wished for her to be as happy as she could for the most amount of time. God knows she had known enough sorrow and pain in the past years, more than she had needed to and that he had ever wished. He could not help but think of how radiant she had been at the Ghillies Ball, twirling and laughing, her whole being illuminated with happiness. She had looked so at home, with such a beautiful smile on her face. That was the way he always pictured her, and the way he always wanted her to be.

"It will be nice," he agreed, smiling with his eyes before he added on the next statement with a hint of regret. "Perhaps not as nice as a grand ball."

That's where she belonged, after all.

Yet it seemed that she did not agree. John frowned as she slid her arm out of his but was quick to feel buoyed when he felt her hand tight in his instead.

"I don't know about that," she said firmly, yet still keeping the softness that composed her. "I told you, I never felt entirely comfortable there. This feels much closer to home."

"You could have fooled me," he responded with a grin. "If I had not known better, I would have thought that Anna Bates had been replaced by the lady of the manor."

She simply smiled at him, a wide and welcome smile that gave him the answer as to why she had been so happy and at ease in those surroundings. He felt himself grow warm with the silent compliment, never really knowing why he had been blessed with the love of such a marvellous woman but never daring to question it either.

She gave his arm another squeeze before she scooted up onto her toes, kissing him soundly on the cheek.

"They can keep their Ghillies Balls, and whatever else might be going on," she exclaimed with a fervour that made him want to burst with joy. The stars that had not yet started to shine were reflected in her eyes. "An evening spent with my husband is the finest thing that there could ever be to me."

He didn't have to ask any more to know that she truly meant it.

* * *

The pub was humming with low music and plenty of chattering voices when they entered, the revelry of the evening already underway. Its size was deceptive from the outside for a small village establishment; either that, or there were far too many people under its roof than it was really able to hold. From wall to wall, it was full to the brim and it seemed there would be no free space to stand, never mind sit. John felt deeply disappointed, knowing that his mood wouldn't be as pleasant as he wished if it meant he had to be on his feet all night.

A generous fire roared in one of the corners which caught Anna's attention, her eyes wide and sparkling with the glow of the flames. It was something of a charm, as no sooner as they had set gaze upon it did another couple depart from their seats by it, the woman clearly deciding that her husband had had quite his fill already. She gave them a pursed smile as they passed, the man dragging his feet a few paces behind her. Anna had to clamp her mouth tight to stop her giggles from escaping, and John heard them dancing in her throat even when she was silent.

"At least I can be glad that won't be you," she said with an amused whisper.

John took his wife's coat from her shoulders and saw her into her seat before he removed his own, as well as his hat which he placed on the table. He smiled as pleased as punch when he regarded the smile Anna aimed up at him; he knew that she much preferred his hair to be loose, and as such he had hardly bothered with any pomade tonight. An errant lock bounced and bobbed over his left eyebrow and he would have been irritated by it if she didn't love it so much.

He went up to the bar, ordering a cider for Anna and a cordial for himself as swiftly as he could, deftly dismissing the somewhat strange looks he received for not getting anything stronger. Wearing a sincere smile as he got back to the table in the corner, he felt warmer than any fire that could have burned when he saw her sitting there, her stature full of poise and modest grace as she gazed around at the festivities, a little smile tugging at her lips. The smile grew when she found his eyes again, her hand coming out to meet his as he sat back down opposite her. They clinked their glasses together in a silent toast, gazes full upon one another as they sipped at their drinks at same time. Even if the rest of the world's population was housed in this little pub, as seemed to be much the case now, it would not have occurred to them, so rapt were they in each other's company alone.

They talked about everything and nothing, enjoying the music that was playing behind them, far off to the other side of the pub. Every so often John would bristle in the nicest way as he felt Anna's foot brush against his under the table. She had kicked off her shoes and the silk of her stockings against the tiniest patch of skin at his ankle was making his head swim. Her face was completely impassive as she took another long sip of her cider, only her eyes lighting with a little spark.

As absorbing as the moment was, he was reminded of another time they had sat, not quite exactly like this, when she had seemed almost unreachable to him and he had been filled with the colliding forces of hope and mind-numbing fear. Luckily, some kind of fortune had fell in their favour at that second in time and it had proved to be quite the turning point indeed. She had believed in them for so long before but it was only then, faced with her sheer determination and willingness to relinquish her reputation to be with him whatever the cost, that he realised he had to fight as hard to give her everything that she truly deserved.

"Can you ever have imagined," she began, reaching to grasp his hand across the table, "that this is where we would find ourselves now? All that time ago," she lowered her voice beneath the bustle and lifted her eyes to his, "when I said that I would throw everything up to be with you?"

John smiled warmly, wondering if he really was that easy to read or whether it was just her intuition.

"God knows that I wanted to imagine," he answered in almost a whisper, taking her palm and circling it in to his. He could still feel the cool, soft leather of the gloves that had covered her hands then, but was beyond glad that he was able to feel the even softer touch of her bare skin now. She sighed as his thumb began to rub little circles there. "I wished and hoped and dreamt every night of a life with you." He bowed his head as he was overcome with a wave of shame for the fact that he had ever doubted that it would come to be. "I didn't think I had the right." Sometimes, in the very still of the night when she was lost to sleep at his side, he still didn't.

Her fingers squeezed against his and he lifted his eyes to see hers beaming back at him.

"But that didn't stop me from doing so."

"You know, sometimes I think I was awfully impatient. I wondered what you must have thought of me, saying such things."

A faint blush crossed her cheeks, and John filled with love.

"I could never have thought anything bad of you. I know it was only because you wanted us to be together. I wanted it too, so desperately. If anything, I felt shame in case you were unable to know the extent of my feelings."

"I never doubted them," she affirmed, the words so familiar, raising a smile from his lips. "It was just all so unfair, that the man I loved with all of my heart was so near and yet so far out of my reach. I could have gone mad with it. At times I was sure I would."

His heart began to ache for her, for all that they had had to suffer.

"I could have so easily stumbled onto the wrong path. But I thought of you, and all that you had said, and it kept me strong. It may have took us a while, but I'm so glad we found the right path together." She caressed his hand with such tenderness, and John felt his eyes begin to fill. He had always considered her to be the one who had kept them anchored. "And I would not change anything about what we've had to face, not one thing. Because I know we were always meant to be. That we would be here now. Together."

He could not feel the sentiment any stronger than she had expressed it, so he did all that he thought he could do. Standing a little awkwardly, he leant over the table and kissed her softly, his hand rising to her face.

Anna pursed her lips together, smiling and a little flushed with the heat from the fire and the unexpected show of affection. She giggled as the brim of her hat fell forward a little, and John's fingers lingered on the wave of her hair that rested by her ear.

"Your hair looks a little different," he smiled, admiring the delicate lock. "I like it."

She looked quite amazed that he should have seen any difference. "You noticed? It's nothing much, just something I thought I would try."

John chortled as he rested back down in his seat.

"Of course I noticed. I take pride in noticing everything about you, as any husband should pay such careful attention to his wife."

Anna's lips curled into a cautious smirk, and she eyed him with some trepidation.

"I should hope you don't look too closely. I wouldn't want you discovering a grey hair before I do."

He laughed before his expression became more serious on seeing that she wasn't quite as amused.

"You've got some way to go before that comes to be. And anyway, you could wake up with a head full of white hair tomorrow and you would still be just as beautiful."

"You are a charmer, John Bates," she tutted, staying solemn for all of a few seconds before she began to laugh again. He revelled in the sound, letting it wash over him, and then was distracted by the look in her eyes, as he so often was. He could tell she was pondering something, but whatever it was it was clearly something pleasant for the way she was smiling so serenely.

"What is it?"

She bit her bottom lip, thinking for a moment longer before she ventured to share.

"That afternoon meant rather a lot to me, you know," she said in a clear, smooth tone. "As I recall, you told me that you loved me twice in quite quick succession."

So he had, he recalled with a smirk. Then it had been a tremendous feat, to dare tell her those words when he couldn't have been certain that he really should have said them so freely.

Sitting here, in another little pub so many miles away, he could be as free as he chose.

"And I mean it as much now as I did then, if not more. I love you, Anna Bates."

He would make sure that it wouldn't be the last time he said it that night.

* * *

Music flowed around them as the night marched on, the celebrations far livelier now as they had been apparently only minutes before. People began to take turns on the floor in their droves, and the chorus of various songs had started too, with members of the crowd being invited to share their own tunes.

As the atmosphere had built, not quite as steadily as he had expected but rather all at once, John had been concerned that it might have all been a bit much for Anna – it was quite a different pace compared to The Grantham Arms. He realised quickly that he needn't have worried. She seemed to be having the time of her life, looking so vibrant and free as she chatted happily to the other people who were close by them, one of her hands held in his all the while. He beamed with pride that he should have been seen to belong to her. She looked so carefree, so happy, laughing melodiously along with the music. If nothing else had come from their trip away, he was glad that she should have had the chance to enjoy herself without worrying what needed to be done around the cottage or pacing the floor for hours trying to hush Eleanor to sleep. If he would have asked he knew she would have been quick to argue that that was her life and she loved it more than any amount of nights she could have spent elsewhere, but it still made him happy to think that she had some time to let herself go, especially when she appeared so wonderful as he admired her.

A familiar song started up and John felt his insides contract as if they had been placed in a vice. He shifted in his seat, his hand moving just a little out of Anna's grasp. She sensed his discomfort immediately, her eyes fixing upon him.

"Is something the matter?" she asked softly, leaning into him.

He swallowed the lump from his throat as best he could, giving her hand a gentle press.

"Nothing at all," he replied with a jerk of his head that was perhaps a little too fast. Below his gaze he could see Anna's foot tapping to the beat, perfectly in time, and he smiled. "You should get up and have a dance. You do know how to reel after all, I'm sure you could teach everyone a thing or two."

She laughed bashfully. "Hardly. The steps have all fallen out of my head by now." She shook her head that was now uncovered, hiding her smile from him for only a moment. "Besides, I can't leave you all on your own. Who knows what trouble you'll get into with this company."

John cast a look at the two elderly men who had slumped into the seats opposite, fallen into an alcohol induced sleep.

"I'll try my best not to fall into disrepute. Go on, I know you're itching to do so. I won't be going anywhere."

With a smile and pat of his hand, she was encouraged, and left him with a full kiss before she took to the floor.

She became immersed in the crowd immediately but still found her natural place right in the middle, a clearing being made for her to twirl and dance. It was as though the band was playing just for her, and although her steps didn't always land quite right, her enthusiasm more than made up for it. She was breathless with joy, full of colour, full of life. His foot tapped in time to the music of its own accord, a grin spread on his face watching his wife. A while ago he may have been jealous of the men that were dancing with her, but right now he knew no other emotion than sheer happiness. When her eyes sought his through the throng, dancing with delight, he felt it all the more.

She would never know how marvellous she was to him, but he hoped he could at least try to show her tonight.

* * *

Her tired feet were curled next to his, her side pressed against him as they sat, enjoying the rest of the night. Having put on a good show for quite some time, she had decided to retire her dancing shoes for the night and John was happy to feel her next to him. She sighed as he stroked her shoulder softly, rhythmically, and in turn she ran her fingers over his thigh. The atmosphere may have become decidedly rowdier but in each other's embrace they had found their own serenity.

Anna lifted her head slowly and John's breath caught in his throat on seeing how bright her eyes were, burning towards him.

"I think I should leave it to the younger ones," she uttered into his chest, resting her palm there lightly. "I'm far past my prime now. My feet will be hurting for weeks."

John dipped down, pressing a kiss into her hair.

"Well then, I shall have to tell Lord Grantham that my services are required elsewhere."

She graced him with a contented smile before pillowing her head back against him. She writhed a little bit, and he could tell that she was very comfortable indeed.

If only the same could be said for him. Time was marching on, and if he was going to make the move, he would need to do it soon. Even with the warm weight of her upon him, his body was pulsating with anxiety. The music struck up louder, with an alarming beat that made his head swirl. It seemed like the opportunity had passed now, at least if he didn't want to draw too much attention to himself. The collective voice of the crowd rushed forth, a din to his ears. He took a glance down; thankfully, Anna seemed to be completely oblivious, her eyes almost fluttered completely shut.

Bodies were a blur in front of them; even more people had assembled, making it harder to breathe. The man stumbled out from nowhere it seemed, swaying on his feet, a drink held perilously in his hand. John saw a look in his eyes that he wasn't sure he liked; his shoulders tensed like a wild animal primed to attack when he saw the stranger's gaze turn down towards Anna.

"Hey, you're the lassie that was reeling not long ago."

Her head jerked suddenly; she had been startled by the shout and the hot breath that was invading her space, even though the man was held at some distance by the table that separated him from them. He reeked of alcohol, and John was disgusted.

"This is the best dance of the night. Come up and have a dance with us."

"Oh no, thank you," her voice wavered slightly with uncertainty, but she remained measured and polite. "I've danced quite enough for tonight."

The stranger moved forward, a little too close now, and John watched like a hawk.

"Come on, it's just one dance."

She was a little sharper now. "No, really."

His reflexes weren't quick enough to catch the hand that came down upon Anna's arm, attempting to wrench her to her feet. As she resisted the pull with all her might, John brought his arm up to bring her closer to him, a fierce determination in his eyes. He heard her rasp a quiet, fearful breath which tore him in two. Then there was a ripping sound and as the sleeve of her blouse was torn, beer sloshed onto the delicate fabric too, as well as onto his jacket.

John was up immediately, leaving Anna trembling a little on the seat. He tried to stop his fingers shaking wildly as he clutched his cane, anger alive in his eyes.

"You'll apologise to my wife," he spoke low but firm, a harshness in his tone that he had not wanted to hear again, especially not here of all places. "And then you'll leave us alone."

The man's eyes were fixed staring at John's cane for what seemed like an eternity before they turned to his face. His ruddy countenance had paled suddenly and he stepped back on his heels.

"I'm sorry, really. I didn't mean any harm."

John's gaze turned towards Anna as the stranger faded back into the crowd. She was nodding her head, taking in a few breaths. Her eyes seemed glassy when they looked into his, and he felt a pang of terrible regret strike him square in the chest.

She reached her hand, which seemed smaller now, up in to the air towards him and he took it without hesitation, trying to be gentler than it was possible for him to be.

Everything seemed too much now, was in tatters around him.

"I think we should get back."

Anna's expression fell solemnly; he could see that she was blaming herself so very wrongly for the incident.

"Oh John, no harm was meant. I'm fine, honestly I am."

He saw her ripped blouse and the beer that was already leaving a stain, her face that was trying to stay resolved even though it was clear she had been shaken to the core. He wanted to clench his eyes shut selfishly. His grasp on her hand tightened, though he remained considerate of her fragility.

"My head is starting to ache a little," he said gruffly.

It wasn't a lie; the dull pressure that had been pounding steadily against his temples had increased. Anna's gaze was achingly soft upon him, melting him like butter.

"It is getting late," she stated, getting to her feet. He helped her up, never letting go of her. Her other hand brushed up and down his arm; even now, she was being the reassuring one. "Time to call it a night."

Supported by her every step of the way, he limped towards and then out of the door, feeling that each and every pair of eyes were upon him as he went.

It had been a very sorry end, that had come far too soon.

* * *

John sat on the bed, his head in his hands, his frame shrunk down to less than half its size.

Things had been going so well, and it had taken a tiny, meaningless thing to bring everything crashing down abruptly. He didn't believe he was being too dramatic when he considered that it had all turned into a disaster, and that it was partly his own stupid fault. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed that he would never be able to relinquish that reckless side that would tear away from him in a rage, in an instant. He supposed it was only ever roused now for a good reason –  _the best reason there was_  – but it was no excuse. Not when he had seen it in her eyes; barely noticeable, but there all the same. The briefest flash of fear, seeing something for herself that she had heard him speak of but had never witnessed. He had to wonder what disgusted and frightened her more; the unwanted but ultimately inoffensive touch of a stranger or the sting of a shock, the hidden demons rising up to lift the disguise covering the one she believed that she knew better than anyone else in the world.

Guilt and shame made a mess of him. Once more, he had been the one to ruin their happiness. Thanks to him and his outburst the memories of what had up to then been such a blissful break had been tainted forever.

There was a soft click of the door, even softer steps padding over the floor. He was almost too afraid to look up, not worthy of even beholding her at this moment. Yet at the same time he was far too weak to be able to resist her.

"Shall I fetch you some aspirin? I'm sure I brought some with me."

She was standing at the foot of the bed, clad in her long white cotton nightgown. The honey glow that was coming from the lamps only added to her angelic aspect.

"It's fine," he managed to drawl, taking a hand away from his face and offering her a weak smile. "It's wearing away now."

She gave a cautious look and then shuffled behind him to draw the covers back as far as she could with him perched on the end, her motions fluid and comforting around him. The silence in the room was deafening and he hoped to God that she didn't feel as awkward as he currently did.

"You're still sitting there fully dressed."

He looked down at himself as if to ascertain the fact.

Her voice was so tender; it at once soothed him and sent pain rippling through his chest.

"Let me help you into bed."

As she came to his side once again, the angel at his shoulder, he reached out to take her hand swiftly. Anna sucked in a breath, her eyes big in her face. He worked up the strength to look at her when he felt her grip on him increase, reciprocating the touch just as he had needed her to do but without him having to say anything.

"I'm sorry, Anna," he said in a whisper, ashamed that he couldn't seem to speak up. "I truly am so very sorry."

Her gaze was instantly forgiving, a sliver of a warm smile on her face.

"Oh John, you don't need to say that." Her fingers ran reverently over his palm and he felt ready to fall apart. Her gentleness and empathy was too much, all that he didn't deserve right now. "It wasn't your fault. It was nothing, honestly. I really did have a lovely evening."

Her other hand landed upon his shoulder, drifting like a feather over him. It made him feel heavenly, and absolutely wretched.

John let her slip his jacket from him, stifling a groan when her fingertips hit the back of his neck. When she made to start undoing the knot in his tie he stilled her hands, cupping them in his. She looked up at him with eyes that were searching but also patient. Whatever she was made of, he would never know.

"I…" he broke gaze for a moment, wondering how he could have been so stupid to think he could have gone through with it when even these words were sticking in his throat. "I wanted to surprise you tonight."

A naïve smile passed over her lips, so incredibly sweet that it came as a further blow to how much he had let her down.

"I'm always surprised by you," she said, leaning to brush her mouth ever so lightly against his cheek. "Very pleasantly, I should say."

He allowed himself to smirk only briefly, feeling her warm breath blowing by his ear, before he hardened his lips into a firm line again. She sat down beside him, her eyes upon him and head tilted to catch his expression with just a touch of trouble. Her mouth formed into a pout, softening when he drew their entwined hands into his lap.

"John, whatever it is, it doesn't matter. I'm sure it can keep for another time."

She had intended for the remark to be light, but it had done little to placate him.

"But it wouldn't," he began, knowing that it sounded strange.

Why couldn't he just tell her, everything had gone to pot now. The verse he had pored over and copied carefully was crumpled up and now discarded in his jacket pocket, most likely soaked through with alcohol too. He wouldn't take things even lower as to crawl across the bed and retrieve it like some sorry token he'd fished out of the bottom of the river. Sighing heavily, he opened her palm, beginning to trace a fingertip over it in a figure eight. He heard her breathing becoming a little irregular.

"When we were here last, you had such a wonderful surprise for me. It was more than I could have expected. And I wanted to return it. Do something for you that showed you how much you mean to me."

She leaned closer to him, the bedsheet moving beneath her.

"You do that every day," she smiled, closing her hand around his. "With things like this trip, and in all of the little things too. You should know I don't need to have something new all the time to please me. Hearing you tell me that you love me is enough."

He let out a long breath, feeling that having her love was the biggest surprise he could ever hoped to have discovered.

"And I believe you've already told me it enough today."

John turned himself a little, seeing her face shining towards him.

"I could never tell you enough," he stated, taking in her beauty, being amazed by it anew. "I love you."

She wore a triumphant smile, blue eyes reflecting back at him like the deepest oceans.

"And I love you too."

Another quick kiss followed her declaration, her lips smiling against his. Her fingers drifted over his forearm, staying there for a few moments before she heaved herself up.

"Now that we know that, shall we head to bed?"

He remained sitting for a few moments longer, reeling from the loss of her breath and touch. She resumed her movements behind him, plumping the pillows, the sound of like meeting like as her sleeve brushed against the pillow's casing. Through the drawn curtains he could see the silver light; he had noticed when they had been on their way back that the moon was full tonight. It drew him onto his feet; with hands in pockets, he walked towards the window, a thousand thoughts filling his head.

It didn't seem too unusual, he supposed; Anna was used to the times when he would go off into his own world. Tonight she had probably expected it, reasoning that he needed a little more space to ruminate before he could fully return to her. Placing a hand against the wall, he returned again to the days of his youth spent roaming restlessly, searching for something in vain it seemed, something that would always be out of his reach. He would take up the familiar book when he had grown tired in his pursuits, the words being sung back to him by his grandmother and the other women in his family. He had always been enchanted by that particular song, with no idea why, and now it was all so clear.

He did not need the words on paper; they were vivid in his mind. In the peaceful silence, he took a deep breath which broke it.

" _Yestreen I had a pint o' wine,_  
A place where body saw na;  
Yestreen lay on this breast o' mine  
The gowden locks of Anna."

As he sung them, his deep tenor echoing from the walls of the room, the words brought a smile to his face. He was still facing the window; before he went onto the next verse he turned around slowly to find her, frozen with the sheet barely held in her grasp. Her mouth was open just a little, a haze of deep surprise washed over her face. The look of her was completely addictive and he needed to see more of it. He grinned for a moment before he continued.

" _The hungry Jew in wilderness,_  
Rejoicing o'er his manna,  
Was naething to my hinny bliss  
Upon the lips of Anna."

With each verse he moved closer towards her, drawn in by the radiant expression she was wearing. It was the most daring way he had chosen yet to express his love for her, but it felt completely natural. Burns may have well written the song precisely for him to sing in this moment. Her eyes were alight, her smile bursting past her lips. His heart was teeming with such pure love for her; to see her exactly like this was all he desired.

The closing lines said most sincerely all of what was in his heart.

" _She is the sunshine o' my e'e,_  
To live but her I canna;  
Had I on earth but wishes three,  
The first should be my Anna."

The hush that filled the room reverberated, became a shelter for him. It was not often that his wife could be found to be speechless, and he would have been wracked with fear and regret if it wasn't for the aura that had become her. The soft light reflected around her frame, making the look captured on her face even more deeply wonderful.

Her face was beautiful, held in such a manner that made his heart leap. They were but mere inches apart and yet her body was calling to him wildly. He dared not to reach out to touch her, though every fibre and nerve in his being compelled him to.

Almost in slow motion she prised her lips apart, a rush of her warm and sweet breath meeting the air.

"You kept that under your hat," she trilled, a sudden giggle breaking the serene smile that she had been wearing from the second he had concluded. He acknowledged it with the tiniest bob of his head, and when he looked back up he was nearly knocked from his feet to see her so serious and yet so open before him. He placed his palm with the lightest of touches against the small of her back.

"That was…John, I can't find the words to express it. I am overwhelmed," she breathed, a tiny waver in her voice. "It was beautiful." Her stare seemed to stretch on forever, reaching far into his soul. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to kiss her lips; he wasn't sure if she was aware of the way the tip of her tongue kept darting out to wet them. Another little laugh escaped her as she put both of her hands just as lightly on his chest. "I feel very grand and famous. A song all about me."

He couldn't suppress a chuckle, the way her eyes were twinkling up at him making him feel so alive.

"I knew it from years ago."  _Whole lives ago, it would seem._  "I don't know why it hadn't occurred to me before."

One of her hands trembled against him, her head shook a little. She seemed so vulnerable suddenly. A swell of love overtook him.

"Well, nobody has ever sung for me, not like that." She smiled again, her touch surer now as her fingers pressed upon him, making him gasp in a breath. "It was the best surprise I could ever ask for."

Though he was overjoyed with her evident delight, he could not escape the touch of shame he felt, knowing he had intended for it to go differently. He knew the world did not need to know – it had seemed destined to go unknowing not that long ago – but now that he had the opportunity, he should have been speaking it every second.

He let out a sigh, feeling her gaze fixed firm upon him.

"I was going to do it while we were out," he said in a voice so quiet that he could almost not hear himself speaking. "How you could dance in front of all those people, you're so amazing and strong…I'm afraid that I don't possess half of your bravery."

Any shame he felt dissolved when he became aware of her hand upon his face, drifting up to cup his cheek with such delicacy. His eyes locked upon hers, taking in the silent vows and promises they always exchanged so easily that comforted him like nothing else. The tips of her fingers swept softly, marking every tiny inch of skin.

"I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was perfect, truly."

She continued to stroke over the curve of his jaw, her other hand beginning to get restless and impatient at her side, though she took the time to focus all of her attention in what she was doing. He drew her a little nearer, sighing against her touch, marvelling at how whole she made him feel. Her breath drifted upon him softly as she looked at him with such candour; she had placed herself purposely at his hip. White hot sensations were starting to consume his head and his body.

Anna broke gaze for a second, taking a breath in as she glanced down towards where his feet were planted.

"I haven't been that brave lately."

She confessed it so sweetly, with no hint of self-pity; just honesty. Still, he felt himself shatter. He was aware that she had been unsure of herself and he deeply regretted that perhaps he had done anything to enhance it, to make her feel as if she needed to be more than what she was.

Embracing her was second nature, the softness of her sinking into him like reams of silk. His hands went around her, telling her with their tender touches how adored she was. He hunched his frame slightly to meet her height, his mouth pressing against her hair. She made little noises; he didn't think that she was crying. She sounded happy, relieved; loved, like she always was.

His nose nuzzled at her cheek and she made a little laugh, her shoulders shuddering slightly at the tickle. She angled her head at the precise second he did and he heard her inhale, momentarily surprised by their mutual movement. There was a smile between them and then the kiss was welcomed in all of its sweetness. John registered how light his lips felt pressed to hers, but rather liked the sensation. It was reassuring for them both, and it did not lack any of the love they both felt for the other. Indeed, its duration attested to that; he half expected to find himself standing in the cottage when he opened his eyes, so much did it feel that they had kissed themselves into the future.

The room was still there; Anna was still there, the simple nightgown flowing almost past her feet. His palms had pressed to her sides and the warmth of her radiated through him, soothing and surging against his skin.

He saw her differently for a moment; she was in that pretty white dress that had astounded him so when they had arrived for the ball.

"You don't need to dress up," he exhaled, tracing his fingers over the fabric of the nightgown, sincere in the statement. "I love you like this. I love you however you want to be."

Her throat bobbed hardly visible in her throat, her fingers smoothing over his neck. She had made to mumble something, but instead her mouth closed after she had breathed out softly. Her hand dipped, and with slow but deft touches she removed the tie from his collar, unfastened the collar from his neck and opened each of the buttons on his waistcoat, tackling those on his shirt when the coat had been slipped from him. There was purpose in all of her movements but something deeper too; as her hands roamed over his body, tracing him completely, he realised he had never been shown such worship in his life. Every caress made him feel as if he was flying.

"Anna," he stumbled to say, his clumsy hands attempting to match her movements upon him on her own body, "we don't need to. You owe me nothing."

Eyes laced heavily with desire yet not losing any of their innocent beauty bore into him.

"I want to," she breathed decisively.

God knows he was always powerless to stop her.

John poured kisses over her as he walked them both to the bed; her lips, her cheeks, her throat, her neck. The pull was magnetic, the feel of her underneath his mouth always sending him spiralling. Her hands were travelling further, reaching to unbuckle his belt as he held her delicately. The urge was overpowering but he fought it with all the might he had. He would control himself, even as he experienced all of those things she made him feel for the millionth time or more. Anna was not fragile in the least, but he believed she needed comfort now, for things to go slowly. They hadn't really been together like this in quite a while, with the luxury of the whole of the night reaching beyond them. He wanted to spend the time loving her carefully, considerately. There wasn't one inch of her body that he intended to leave untouched, without several kisses placed upon it.

Anna didn't seem to want to go slow. Landing on the bed with a bounce, she gazed at him longingly, teething her bottom lip in anticipation before she pulled his head down to meet her mouth. Her fingers rifled in his hair, her lips pliable and blistering against his. He found his body was responding simply to the noises she was making, little muffled mewls of pleasure.

When he drew back, they were both breathless. He couldn't take his eyes from her; how very beautiful she looked, how she looked at him with such unbridled yearning but with so much love.

He was resting easily on the mattress, leaning over her, noticing how her chest was rising quicker now with her unsteady breathing. One hand reached out to stroke her hair, while the other traced the clothed curve of her side. He settled on the bone of her hip; she was fuller there now than she had been in the earlier days of their marriage, but by barely much at all. He simply adored everything there was of her.

With both hands, he began slowly to bring up her nightgown. Fingers brushed the silky skin of her thighs and he was nearly burned by the heat already teeming there. He choked a groan in his throat. Unveiling a little of her stomach, his hands came to a still, leaving the fabric where it was. He wouldn't push things with her, wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible. He was perfectly happy with what he was able to see, blinded by her beauty anyway.

"It's okay," a soft whimper came from her, a hand stroking upon his shoulder. "Take it off."

He eyed her cautiously, ascertaining that she was certain. Rucking the gown in his grasp, he reached over to flick off the electric lamp at the bedside.

"Leave the light on," she breathed again.

"Are you sure?"

A smile settled on her face, a smile that he loved but yet also ached to kiss away.

"I want you to see me."

His head pounded so much that he felt it might implode. With a swiftness he peeled the gown and her slip away and sighed as he beheld her, bathed in the amber glow and nothing else. There was only seconds before he brought his mouth down to grace her bareness. She gasped at the first prolonged touch of his warm lips against her stomach, and then sighed a symphony as they moved across her, with no rush or shortcut being taken. His hands worked just as reverently, caressing her softly, lingering where she begged him to pay more attention. He held her hips as they arched from the bed; he was just about able to keep his senses in some order to finish undressing himself, though she gave him some assistance too.

It all happened instinctively, and they both let out a moan when he joined their bodies together. He was certain he would never get used to the feel of her beneath him, within him, completely. As she writhed a little on the bed, he watched her intently. He bent his head to the curve of her neck, running kisses all over, whispering words of love when he could tear his lips away, committing the beautiful sounds she was making to his innermost memory. She looked so gorgeous just like this; she felt incredible at one with him.

He was beginning to feel the dizzy rush waiting to embrace him, reaching his hand down instinctively to ensure that she could take her pleasure first. She was clutching onto him and he could tell that it wouldn't be long, knowing all of her smallest reactions inside out. He was surprised when he felt her shift, almost drawing back away from him.

"John," she whispered, her arms wrapped around him, holding close as his breath panted. "Can we change?"

"If you want to," he replied, stroking a hand down her side.

They manoeuvred easily, Anna pushing John gently onto his back on the bed. All he could do was gaze up at her in wonder, tingles held in suspension over his body. Her hair hung over her shoulders, her knees shifting as she straddled him. The sensation was absolutely remarkable as she sunk down onto him, rifling through him like a hurricane. She found a perfect rhythm, smiling as she went intently, the moans leaving her increasing in pitch. John smiled himself, thinking how perfect she was. His hands were on her hips, guiding her, and she was melting under his touch. Soon she began to cry, her fingers frantic as they pawed at his chest. He grasped one of her hands, linking it with his on the bed.

"Anna, you're beautiful. I love you and I love every second when we're together like this."

His loving words were tipping her fast over the edge, his fingers caressing hers as they entwined closer together.

"Let it come, my darling."

She was undone as soon as he had finished uttering the words, and he was claimed quick enough too, unable to resist for too long when she felt as good as she did.

He welcomed her lying atop him on his chest with open arms, the smouldering heat of her body a wonderful accompaniment to the shocks that were still tumbling through him. Her breathing was regulating as her hands drifted across him lazily, a content smile on her face. His fingers threaded in her hair, caressing gently.

After a little while, once they had both recovered, she scooted up to lay by his side, not before kissing him soundly. He held her close, savouring her sweetness; so thankful for this moment and for their whole life together. He chortled as she swirled her hand in the hair of his chest, nuzzling close to her and placing a soft kiss on her head where it lay against him.

The sound of their synchronised breathing was enough to satisfy him; the moment needed no words, until she said them, quietly.

"I think we both needed the courage, from each other."

They had both found it in this special place, and found it once again with one another.

* * *

John's eyes opened slowly, his body becoming slowly aware of the stillness beneath and around him. It hadn't been like that when he had dropped off to sleep. There wasn't a complete absence though; he was very aware of two hands patting his arm, one far smaller and much more frantic in its movement, the other soothing in its gentle stroke.

Blinking a few times, his vision came to focus through the windowpane, although there wasn't much to be seen. There was an almost purple shade of descending darkness, making everything rather unclear. He could have been anywhere in the world and he wouldn't be any the wiser. Then he moved his head a little, and saw the familiar nameplace sign on the platform.

"Come on, sleepyhead," Anna's voice was light and contained a hint of a giggle, no doubt to amuse their daughter who was still prodding him with insistent little fingers. "It's time for us to make a move, otherwise we shall end up right back again."

He didn't imagine that would be a very bad idea. John moved himself forward, stretching the stiffness from his limbs and catching Eleanor's flailing hand in his own, dwarfing it completely.

"Was I asleep the whole way?"

"Most of it," Anna laughed, taking Eleanor's other hand. She leaned in close, brushing his earlobe with her lips. "I suppose you needed it after last night."

A smirk passed over his lips, and he turned his head so that what he uttered couldn't be heard by their daughter's ears.

"And whose fault was that?" he rasped gruffly, "you naughty girl."

Anna giggled in delight, gracing him with an alluring smile before she heaved both herself and Eleanor upwards, opening the compartment door and following the other passengers down the train. John followed soon after, managing as best he could with their luggage, taking a few trips to get them all down onto the platform. Anna had been held up with waiting in line and he was rather pleased, as it meant he was waiting ready to help her down from the train. He beamed as she took his hand with a gracious, ladylike nod; for a few moments, it still felt like they were in another place and time.

What a holiday it had been. Somewhere he had remembered from years ago, revisited with the loves of his life. A time that he would remember for the rest of his life, and embrace as he was going about his daily duties or making quite different trips that would keep him away for longer than he wished.

But he would always return here. They hadn't made any decisions about moving to find their own little inn just yet, and it was fine for now. Time would tell them when it was right. Perhaps when he found a secure buyer for his mother's house, or when they had had another child. He had the happy thought that might happen sooner rather than later, but tried to shake it from his head, knowing he couldn't be completely sure.

"Back to reality, then," Anna sighed, not completely unhappily. "I suppose it had to come soon enough."

He smiled down at her, thinking to himself that this was the first time they had ever got the train back to Downton together. It gave him a deeply contented feeling and made him feel significantly better about coming out of that wonderful dream.

"Everything has to keep moving," he said softly, running a hand down her back, rejoicing when she moved herself closer into his touch. "And the Granthams are still at Duneagle for a few days more, which means that I am all yours for a while longer."

Her face lit up against the falling night. "Well, I do like the sound of that."

"I do too."

There on the platform, he dipped his head, removing her hat and using it to shelter them partially from the passing crowd as they shared a passionate kiss. He could feel her smiling into it, her lips parting to beckon him a little further. Life could never fail to be the sweetest thing he had encountered, not when he could have all of this.

A little voice interrupted them with her gleeful cry.

"Dada! Mama!" she took joy in repeating over and over.

John and Anna gazed lovingly at their daughter, held between them, and then at one another, eyes shining with happiness and only a few tears of joy.

Yes, it had been a trip to remember, but even as it was over they knew they would still go on, happier than ever before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The Gowden Locks of Anna' by Robert Burns. Its existence had been pointed out a while ago, and can you believe that when I looked up the lyrics I saw that the song was actually set to a tune called 'Banks of Banna'. The existence of fate if it ever needed to be proved.
> 
> (yes, I cringe slightly when I think of having wrote this before S4 given what happened there...)


End file.
